‘Table for One?’
Tips for flying solo this Valentine’s Day
EVERY VALENTINE’S DAY, singles everywhere are left in the awkward position of having to pass the time on the day that everyone else and their significant others gush over. Options normally include: a) going out and gagging at all the mushy couples who decide that—on this one day of the year—it’s okay to play tonsil tennis in public (ew); b) staying in and channel surfing through countless airings of The Notebook; or c) going out and trying to pick up someone who’s just as lonely and desperate as you are. We say, why sulk? Forget going out or watching TV—the Fulcrum has your guide to enjoying a sexy, romantic Valentine’s Day, solo style.
First, ladies and gents, it’s all about relaxing. Instead of having to obsess over an insignificant other, Valentine’s Day is a day to shower yourself with attention and love. To start off, go out and pick up some things that make you feel good. Think of your favourite desserts or pornography—whatever you need to unwind. Ladies, consider treating yourself to sexy lingerie: stuff that you know you look hot in. Then you can start planning your day of self-loving.
Sleep in, and spend the day pampering yourself. Girls, look at day spas or beauty salons—a sensual massage to relax you would be perfect for this event. There’s nothing better than knowing you look hot, so if you can handle it, consider a Brazilian wax. If this isn’t your style, do something to get amped up. Working out is a great alternative; it increases blood flow, boosts confidence, and, if you’re lucky, lets you make use of the sauna at your gym.
After a day of self-spoiling, it’s time to address your erotic needs. To get yourself in the mood, watch something hot (it doesn’t have to be pornography!). Think of whatever turns your crank, be it a True Blood marathon or a Marlon Brando movie. Snacks are a must-have, but steer clear of crumbly or crunchy foods like chips. Instead, try sweet things, like ice cream or chocolate—a natural aphrodisiac—that will soothe your sweet tooth and get you in the mood. A bit of bubbly never hurt either, as alcohol relaxes and releases the inhibitions of those who use it. However, men, be warned—drinking alcohol in excess can give you trouble keeping your hard-on, so be wary of overconsumption. If you’re thinking of pulling an all-nighter, coffee also works in small doses to get the blood flowing and to increase the energy for your night of self-love.
Now that you’re feeling hot and bothered, it’s time to get your sexy self off! Girls, when you’re out spoiling yourselves during the day, be sure to pick up some scented candles, bubble bath, nice-smelling lotions, and—if you’re feeling adventurous—a sex toy (see the sex-shop guide on p. 7). Whether you are lying in bed listening to some soothing beats or in a steamy bath surrounded by scented candles, do what you have to do to get yourself relaxed and ready to feel good.
Since women are capable of experiencing multiple orgasms, turn this blessed fact into a game and see how many different ways you can make yourself come (vaginal, clitoral, or G-spot stimulation). Repeat until you’ve mastered your ‘bating. Or, if baths are your thing, lie down inside the tub and scooch up so your cooch is right underneath the tap. Turn it on and get wet in more ways than one as the bath fills up. Boys, you too can be creative with your masturbation techniques: for you porn-lovers out there, try branching out from your usual niches and experiment with some different genres (pornhub.com or redtube.com have an endless selection of categories). Or, invest in a Fleshlight, now designed with inner sleeves in the form of a mouth, vagina, or anus—whatever your pleasure.
And when all is said and done, you can feel good knowing you probably got more action than at least half your desperate peers.
