Point/counterpoint: They love me, they love me not
illustration by Alex Martin
Point: Going through the motions
I HATE VALENTINE’S Day. And no, I am not single and bitter. In fact, I’ve been in a relationship for four years, but I just don’t get the appeal or point of this so-called romantic holiday.
First of all, how can you celebrate the uniqueness and depth of your relationship by engaging in any one of the clichéd activities imposed on lovers? What are you supposed to say when your significant other volunteers to take you out for supper? “How thoughtful of you?” Nope, because it’s not. There is nothing thoughtful or meaningful about taking your partner out for dinner simply because the social norms of a public holiday dictate you should do so. And even if you do buy into that, it’s a little hard to feel special when you find yourself surrounded by the thousands of other couples also out for dinner for the exact same reason. Talk about a belittling reminder! You’re just one of the many other couples in the city going through the same meaningless motions.
Then there are those typical Valentine’s Day gifts, also completely devoid of romance since they came from an unoriginal thought. Plus, let’s face it: flowers die. Chocolates get devoured. Teddy bears are useless and take up space. Even if you were to find some different way of celebrating the occasion, you’re still only doing it because you’re supposed to do something on Valentine’s Day, and that just devalues the experience.
Secondly, what’s romantic about stores exploiting relationships by overpricing, mass-marketing, and mass-producing every essential clichéd Valentine’s Day gift? The holiday that is supposed to be about celebrating love has become a little bit more about attacking the wallet. If love was all that mattered, why do valentine greeting cards cost up to $10 and why do rose prices basically quadruple for the occasion? And why do people support this?! Corporate producers see Valentine’s Day for what it really is: another chance to gimmick consumers and grab our money. Don’t you remember J. Lo’s words of wisdom? “Love don’t cost a thing!”
And let’s not overlook the obnoxiousness of the holiday. Sure, it doesn’t matter to you if you’re in a relationship, but Valentine’s Day sucks for single people. If you’re already in a healthy, happy relationship that you feel secure in, why do you need to broadcast this to the world? Single people don’t have an exclusive, in-your-face and popular holiday that couples can’t participate in. Bottom line: if you’re really in love, you don’t need a public holiday as an excuse to celebrate that love. You’ll do it on your own every single day. —Katrina Medwenitsch
Counterpoint: All you need is love
IN RESPONSE TO all those whiny souls with no one to share a special Valentine’s Day with, and those in relationships disgruntled with the idea of buying into the consumer craze of yet another Hallmark holiday: shut the fuck up already or I will strike you down with one of Cupid’s arrows. I have to argue that, in contemporary culture, Valentine’s Day has transcended the label of a consumer-driven, cliché-filled holiday designed to make single people feel bad to become a day of original, multi-faceted celebrations for all—regardless of your relationship status.
For all those people in relationships: you’ve got it made. This day was created for people like you—a day when you can scream your undying love and affection for your sweetheart from the rooftops, are permitted gratuitous PDAs and guaranteed some hot sex. Now, I know, I know, you don’t need a day to remind the person you love that, well, you love them. But during the holiday-less months of the cold winter, why not have a day between the unsexy celebrations of New Year’s Eve and St. Patrick’s Day devoted to romance, lust, and love, complete with chocolate and sexy lingerie? And if you refuse to buy into that whole candy-and-flower-consumer-driven-craze, then get in touch with your creative side and make your special someone a gift they’ll never forget—because the best gifts are made from the heart.
If you’re currently trying to woo someone special, Valentine’s Day is the perfect day to let a crush know you’re into them or to execute the Grand Romantic Gesture to take a relationship to the next level. This gives you a chance to show your potential mate both your creativity and romantic side. For example, I have a friend who once bussed to Kanata at 6 a.m. on Valentine’s Day to write “Will you go out with me?” outside his crush’s window. Had he done this any other day of the year, he might have been dubbed a huge creeper, and maybe a bit of a stalker. But on Valentine’s Day, anything goes.
For the established and recently single alike, I just don’t get your dilemma. A significant counter-holiday has emerged over the years that boast events better than the original Valentine’s Day’s line-up. I mean, you have an excuse to come together, consume ridiculous amounts of liquor, and bitch and/or cry hysterically—typically over a bonfire fuelled by things belonging to your former lovers. On any other day of the year this behaviour might be seen as extreme, or warranting a psychological intervention, but on Valentine’s Day it has become standard—even people in relationships have come to envy the sacred rituals of singles on this day.
Over the years, Valentine’s Day has evolved into a magical holiday that takes on a different—but equally badass—meaning that people of all relationship statuses can enjoy. So, throw on something red and pink and either love love or hate the fuck out of it. But please, for the love of Cupid, take the arrow out of your ass and stop whining about this holiday’s existence. —Mercedes Mueller
Dearest Sébastien,
Who's the nerd now, reading the fulcrum online? You do realize that this type of behaviour paves the way for more serious fulcrumly tendencies, like proofreading Tuesdays and actually joining the "stupid newspaper."
Nonetheless, I would be lying if I said this comment didn't make my morning.
Happy Valentine's Day!
Mercedes
P.S.: You can have a column when you prove you can write. One line campaign slogans that don't even get you elected don't count!!!
Sweet sweet Mercedes,
I'm only reading the fulcrum online because, well, I kind of told your boss I was going to take over her job and was looking for a contact number, but came across this quite funny piece of yours. So, one thing led to another, and I read it.
How's this for writing (in the spirit of Valentine's Day, of course)
On the night I met you, my heart stoped beating it froze with with desire, at what I was seeing. On this night for us that shoud'nt have been, what lay ahead nobody could see. You alone started these flames of wanting desire, a million seas couldn't quench the fire. But love isn't always the easy friend, you have to sail the storm to recieve the love you send. So till the day comes that these arms can hold you near, I'll sail the storms and watch as the clouds disapear.
Yeah, try to keep your hands off of me now.
Happy Valentine's Day to you too!
Sébastien St-Amour
Mercedes: "strike you down with one of Cupid’s arrows"? Say when and where, you can do what ever you want to me.
I should probably wait for Valentine's day though, since everything goes and I can be as creepish as I'd want to be. But my undeniable love for you cannot wait a whole two days... Or can it?
You're right, this whole Valentine's day thing is awesome, especially since I'm hot and sexy, and so are you. Deep down inside though, I just want to know who, between you and I, is the best at being sarcastic and a smart ass.
You've got the looks, but I've got the, well looks too, but you can pull it off better then I can.
PS: The fulcrum should be all about me.
Sébastien St-Amour