This summer I’m saying fuck it to slaving away and missing all the fun. If I want to take the full 12 days of Bluesfest off, I’m doin’ it.
“I mean, I could keeping going and get a doctorate or something—become a doctor of English and save people’s lives with my analysis of medieval literature,” Hayes said. “But I figured hey, if I’m going to be paying out my ass for tuition, I might as well learn and contribute something valuable to society.”
Allan Stone, the president of the university, believes these new regulations will enable students to relax more. “We were just tired of hearing so many complaints from students about how difficult their lives are in April, so we decided to change the whole basis for success at our school,” said Stone.
To prepare for the game of their lifetime, TuneSquad leader Bugs Bunny—alongside basketball superstar Jordan—coached the team from pitiful to kind of acceptable.
“He’s already lied about his name,” Trump said, referring to the Pope’s birth name Jorge Mario Bergoglio. “We need to stand up and confront people in power—this Frank guy can’t be changing names and running religion without proving to the world and myself that he’s legit.”
“By election time in 2015 we will be the richest country in the world. Forget free health care, we’ll make like Oprah and give free money!” Flaherty continued.
There are many who believe that romance novels are the trashy reality TV shows of the literary world, and that may be—but just like Honey Boo Boo draws in millions of viewers weekly, a good Harlequin will keep most anyone coming back for more.
“It’s a problem we all face time and time again: how do we protect ourselves from shade? It was clear to us that too much shade was being thrown. Good, honest, hardworking people needed a way to protect themselves, and the sun just wasn’t making the cut,” said Ali.
I send out the following message to those grumpy people who seem to feel entitled to complain endlessly about this bout of nasty weather: Please stop. We are all travelling on the bus with you; we all have chunks of snow dripping into our socks; if you look closely, you will see that our eyelashes are just as frozen as yours. Snow, like death, unites all people.
… somehow after four years, Johnson found herself almost $40,000 in debt. This tragedy has rocked our nation and has made headlines all over national news. In a brave and bold move, Johnson has granted the Fulcrum an interview to speak about her ordeal.