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Don’t vote, sleep in

IT’S ELECTION TIME at the University of Ottawa. Brace yourself for the onslaught of poster campaigns and classroom presentations where Student Federation of the University of Ottawa (SFUO) candidates plunge int...

The birthday bitch

Birthdays come but once a year... Or do they? FOR THE FIRST 18 years of my life, I operated under the assumption that I was to celebrate my birthday only once a year. As the big day approached, I quietly wen...
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Walk the walk

Know your sidewalk etiquette STRUTTING THE STREETS of Ottawa the past few months has led me to a new, profound realization: People do not know how to use sidewalks. Every day there are more and more perpetra...
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Monologue of a dumb tattoo

HEY GIRL, IT’S me! You know, me, down here sitting on the small of your back. That’s right, it’s your tramp stamp, and we need to talk. Ever since you snagged that sweet office job, I’ve been starting to...

Political playground

The childishness of Ontario politics WE’VE ALL DONE it at least once: Compared the behaviour of politicians to that of children. No one has to pass a maturity test to be elected to office, and though the r...
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Roommates versus inmates

How should you approach the roomie relationship? A ROOMMATE IS generally understood to be a person with whom you share a home. Hopefully someone who will ask you about your day, cook you the occasional meal, a...
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A vindication of the rights of fast-food workers

I BEGIN EVERY day in tears. “Six inch or foot long?” I ask, my eyes red and watery, my face flushed. Nobody seems to care or even really notice. I suppose tears seem perfectly appropriate on the face of a fast-...