The Burger King-Tim Hortons merger is another sad chapter in a series of defects and defeats Canada has suffered at the hands of corporate America, on par with the departures of Wayne Gretzky, Paul Anka, the Montreal Expos, and Ryan Reynolds’ abdominals.
This faculty will cater to students interested in both hard sciences and the humanities, and will include specialization options in sentient robotics, planetary destroyer engineering, solar disruption, and general arts.
Rather than dowsing yourself in ice water (like in the Ice Bucket Challenge), the Handgun Challenge requires its participants to suffer a self-inflicted gunshot wound on camera, and to follow up that act of mutilation by challenging at least three people to do the same.
The Canadian Council for the Arts recently made the shocking announcement that they will begin openly endorsing and supporting the written works of YouTube commenters.
“We finally saw things as clearly as the residents of Sandy Hill,” said Stone. “Of course it makes more sense to demand our students travel across the city for classes, rather than expand to Sandy Hill. Those residents who campaigned against our residence proposal were there first. So even though they represent a small portion of the area’s population, I believe the golden rule has to apply: finders keepers, losers move to Kanata.”
The society’s crown jewel is the Jock Turcot University Centre’s Alumni Auditorium. According to the notes of former member Pierre Elliott Trudeau, the goals were to design “the least enjoyable place to have a lecture or special presentation” and ensure that all students who utilized it “would surely need to see a chiropractor afterwards.”
Due to diplomatic tensions, Poutine auditioned via Skype from Moscow, where he suddenly hopped onto the screen looking unrecognizable. Poutine wore bright makeup covering his lips, cheeks, and eyes, a curly wig with blonde highlights, and sequins that shimmered as he executed a series of complex gyrations and twirls