Exposing the sixth pillar’s secret

Inside were the blueprints that detailed the secret clubhouse built in the sixth pillar that has housed some of the most elite and famous members of Canada’s past. We found photos of Sir John A. Macdonald, Sir Wilfrid Laurier, Frederick Banting, Alex Trebek, Steve Nash, Keanu Reeves, Drake, and Ben Mulroney all within the mysterious pillar — although to be fair there were reports that both Reeves and Mulroney had snuck their way in.

Hidden camera reveals tortured tomatoes

The shocking video shows employees spraying water at tomato plants tied to stakes, a method of water torture condemned by the international community. It also shows tomatoes being poked, prodded, and finally plucked from their vines.

Anne of Green Gables gets 21st century treatment

The new novel, titled Dan of the Dumps, looks into the life of Daniel Chester, one of Anne’s great-grandchildren who survived the recession of the late 1980s and started selling nickel stocks in magazine and book clubs.

Pollution free-for-all

There are mass protests planned in many Canadian cities to bring attention to what environmentalists believe to be pure stupidity on the part of the government, though all of the protests north of Toronto have been cancelled due to ferociously cold temperatures.

Thousands rally in favour of Fair Elections Act

Optimistic that the bill will improve the elections process at the federal level, a student lobbyist group at the U of O called Students for Fair Elections is advocating changing the Student Federation of the University of Ottawa (SFUO) elections to reflect the federal model, in hopes of making it more efficient and fair for everyone.

Quebec premier evicts Concordia University from province

Marwas, however, defended herself against such critics in her speech: “Concordia is an ideal university to relocate because it’s Engli—I mean, as Concordia is split between two campuses over eight kilometres apart, the students and staff there must already be used to travelling a lot, so moving their entire university to another province is absolutely reasonable.”

Michael Cera cast as Aquaman

“I personally pushed my body to the edge with this whole ‘Batfleck’ business,” said Slattery, referring to the two-week hunger strike he took outside the front gate of the Warner Brothers studio last fall. “Now I’m preoccupied with more important matters, like eating solid food and finding a job.”