Dear Di,
How the hell do people meet other people? I’m not great in sliding into my crushes’ DMs and have always started relationships with people I’ve met IRL. How am I supposed to meet someone in the midst of cuffing season?
—Lusty but lonely
Dear LL,
With so much of the dating scene happening online now, it can leave a lot of people pining for the good ol’ days of finding a new fling at their favourite bar, or even better, somewhere they’re least expecting it. If this sounds like you, never fear, because there are still ways you can get around downloading Tinder!
My top suggestion if you’re looking for a new relationship is to meet new people through friend groups—and no, I don’t mean you should start dating all of your friends. Instead, make an effort to go out with your friends for drinks or to parties as much as you can. If you’re hanging out with groups of people who you know are already similar to you, there’s a much better chance you’ll find someone who you get on with.
These group situations are also much less awkward than walking up to a stranger, yet more comfortable than grinding up on some hottie in a club.
Another way to take your dating game to new heights is simply to be more open in your day to day life. For example, try talking to people in your classes instead of being zoned out on your laptop and leaving immediately after the lecture. If you tend to hibernate in the winter, try hitting up the gym once or twice a week, or studying on campus. If you have the time, join a club or do activities that really interest you, whether that’s volunteering in your community or kickboxing. Again, the best way to find like-minded individuals is to be out doing things you enjoy.
When it comes to meeting someone, the only, albeit cliché, advice I can give is to be yourself. The best relationships usually come when you don’t expect it, which is difficult when you’re feeling lonely and in a state of hyper-singleness. If you’ve met the certain person in a place of mutual interest, that’s a good sign! It’s also a great conversation starter.
Above all, be bold. Anyway, you can always switch crossfit classes if you embarrass yourself.
Love,
Di
Horny Homework: Sweet Dreams (are made of this)
Sometimes the thing you need to turn a mediocre sexual experience around is adding something that will cushion the blow. So grab your favourite pillow(s) and favourite partner(s) and get to work. Prop several pillows under your butt to elevate your lower body in missionary. Coil your legs around your partner’s shoulders while they kneel right in front of you, entering your vagina or anus. Grab a vibrator or use your fingers to help them out as they penetrate you deep.
Dishing with Di: Riding
While the average woman is objectified in pretty much everything she does, every now and then the sexualization of something very ordinary still manages to shock me. For example, I wasn’t aware until recently about the very sexual history of cycling. Women who rode bicycles were considered very unladylike for doing so. Since they, you know, mounted it, between their thighs, pressed up against their vulva, feeling the vibrations. An 1895 edition of the newspaper New York World provides a very comical list of “Don’ts” for women who ride. These included tips such as “Don’t cultivate a ‘bicycle face’”, and “Don’t imagine everyone is looking at you”. I hope those ladies got a damn good orgasm from those bikes, since they had to deal with this bullshit.
