Tomato

Covering the walls of the tunnel were elaborate schematics of what the Tomato would soon find out is the Tornadorator 3000. In the corner, a small group of engineering student were hunched over scribbling designs; UberEats Mcdonald bags littered the floor.

What we saw was astounding. We found loads of professional-grade concert speakers set up all over the site, hooked up to one guy’s laptop playing “Epic Construction Ruckus Medley—10-hour Version” on YouTube.

“Yep—every week, we polish the whole thing, from top to bottom,” nodded Alan Lee, head of the Social Science Task Force (SSTF). “Keeps it looking spiffy for when the O-Train gets here.”

After the 53rd recount, it dawned on election officials that while many ballots had been submitted, none of them had any names marked down. One ballot did have the words “Bernie for prez!” scrawled on it, but it was marked as spoiled.

1 2 3 4 5