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Psychotherapist Kimberly Moffit urges students to move on from bad relationships

Photo: Vic, CC,

Breaking up is hard to do.

Ending a relationship is never easy, whether it’s with a romantic partner, a friend, or even school or work. But moving on is ultimately what’s best for your health, according to Toronto psychotherapist Kimberly Moffit.

The media commentator explained why during “Break Up and Move,” a discussion on lifestyle detoxing that took place March 26 at Montpetit Hall. Moffit was joined by Ottawa gynecologist Dr. Tania Dumont.

The psychotherapist identified several aspects of students’ lives that could use cleansing because they end up becoming negative forces.

“The most common thing I see students breaking up with is a romantic relationship. But it can also be from their program at the university or their part-time job,” said Moffit. “Social media, dieting, self-criticism, and stress are all really high on the list of what I’ve heard from students.”

Breaking up from the pill is another one. Dr. Dumont described alternative and longer-lasting birth control options available, such as birth control patches, vaginal rings, injections, and long-acting reversible contraceptions (LARCs), which are intrauterine devices (IUDs) and intrauterine systems (IUSs). She said that while inserting the LARCs can be uncomfortable and lead to some side effects, the discomfort is short-lived and most people tolerate them very well.

“People come back for second and third IUDs and IUSs,” she said. “And then you can forget about them for quite a few years after that.”

Dr. Dumont recommended that students touch base with a family doctor, gynecologist, or sexual health clinic first to talk about the options and determine the best method for them.

Similar to moving on from the pill, the decision of why to break up from other things is highly personal.

“You don’t want to take everyone’s opinion so seriously,” said Moffit. “If something feels wrong, it probably is wrong, and people should find something that appreciates them more or is more of a fit.”

Though the process is individualized, Moffit described common signs that indicate someone’s ready for a change.

“You start finding yourself thinking about other options, doing some research, and talking to family and friends about it,” she said. “Then there’s an emotional distance, followed by the breakup. You expect to feel depressed but you actually feel really happy.”

If you’re looking to change relationships or shift things around this spring, Moffit advised to start small. By removing items that aren’t working such as in your fridge or closet, you’ll gain confidence for when it comes time to breaking up with the things in your life that are bringing you down.