There are many who believe that romance novels are the trashy reality TV shows of the literary world, and that may be—but just like Honey Boo Boo draws in millions of viewers weekly, a good Harlequin will keep most anyone coming back for more.
Humour
“It’s a problem we all face time and time again: how do we protect ourselves from shade? It was clear to us that too much shade was being thrown. Good, honest, hardworking people needed a way to protect themselves, and the sun just wasn’t making the cut,” said Ali.
I send out the following message to those grumpy people who seem to feel entitled to complain endlessly about this bout of nasty weather: Please stop. We are all travelling on the bus with you; we all have chunks of snow dripping into our socks; if you look closely, you will see that our eyelashes are just as frozen as yours. Snow, like death, unites all people.
… somehow after four years, Johnson found herself almost $40,000 in debt. This tragedy has rocked our nation and has made headlines all over national news. In a brave and bold move, Johnson has granted the Fulcrum an interview to speak about her ordeal.
“After countless testimonies and much evidence from both schools, it became unquestionably obvious that the University of Ottawa was far greater than Carleton University. Ottawa U proved to be historically better in several critical categories, including the overall good looks of students, the quality of their taste in all things, and of course general cleanliness and smell.”
Listing down the top ten ways you know you go to the U of O
With quality TV programming like Full House and YTV’s Hit List; dial-up modems; music from Nirvana, Alanis Morissette, and Britney Spears; and fashion greats—who needed a belt, when you had a sweater to tie around your waist?—the ‘90s were years like no other.
“At first, I held out hope. I thought, ‘Surely Beyoncé needs a fabulous weave and I’m pretty fabulous, so she’ll definitely come back.’ But she didn’t, and now I’m seeking compensation,” the weave continued.
“Each category’s winners will be chosen based on specific and impartial qualifications. Acting categories will now be decided based on four criteria: the age of the actor, how many previous unsuccessful nominations the actor has received, the quality of the Hollywood parties thrown on behalf of the actor, and whether or not the actor has ever played a historically important American political figure,” said Lanley.
“Their services just weren’t sustainable. They went out and bought a mahogany record player chest from Value Village, which we allowed because it only cost 25 bucks—but the thing used up the same amount of energy it takes to light the new FSS building,” said Cherdon.
“I am something of a solitary person and I value my privacy,” she said during a press conference held directly after a recent ultrasound appointment, which was broadcast on television and documented by her mother on Twitter and Instagram.
“This new motto comes along with broad changes to our school that will reflect this strategy. We’re going to make these words tangible everywhere on campus.”
Allyson Harmon, a fourth-year communications student, is attempting to help students out with a new support club. The group aims to support students who have difficulty following their favourite TV shows while juggling school work.
“We’ve uncovered a massive network of steroid use within dodgeball leagues and it all centres around these athletes. There’s simply no room for cheating in our sport, or at this institution. Just with the magnitude of the situation, we felt we needed to come down hard on the perpetrators to not lose the public’s confidence.”
I asked myself, “How can I help both Bieber and anyone else from making such a grave fashion faux pas in the future?” With that in mind, I present to you my top ways to not look like a tool in front of the prime minister:
Fleeing is an excellent way to deal with annoying colleagues. Let’s face it, one of the best (if not long-term) ways to deal with a problem is to run away from it.
Exam season is upon us, my friends, and anyone who says they couldn’t use a little help from a holy text is just kidding themselves. Follow these 10 commandments and you’ll be sure to prosper this December.
When I worked a job with no opportunities, I made the opportunities myself. You know, the opportunity to nap in the back room, try the new dish for free, or call in sick when the latest Call of Duty was released. Chicken will serve itself, I thought, but I’m missing out on some valuable “Jane” time.
For me, using commas, periods, and proper capitalization is a must when sending a text, and the same goes for anyone who wants to date me.
…There are strategies for coping with the stress of slapping together a well-articulated essay. And no, just in case you’re wondering, none of them are “drop the class.”
There’s no denying that plagiarism has hit the headlines yet again, and while we’re not saying it’s right—if you think it’s okay, you’re one twisted lazy bum—we can’t refute the fact that it happens. So why do people do it?
They’re cutting edge, but most importantly, they’re cool. You do not listen to their music. Therefore, you are not cool.
The ultimate abuse is using profanity where it is absolutely not necessary, simply because someone can’t be bothered with finding a more articulate expression. Don’t get me wrong, nothing feels better than dropping an F-bomb in frustrating situations, but there is a time and a place.
DEAR MS. FAKE, I received your email detailing your ideas about how email is a passive aggressive mode of communication. If I’m going to be honest, I must say I disagree. Conducting business with professors, fellow students, roommates, and friends is best done over email for a variety of reasons that I have listed below …
IT’S ELECTION TIME at the University of Ottawa. Brace yourself for the onslaught of poster campaigns and classroom presentations where Student Federation of the University of Ottawa (SFUO) candidates plunge into brief yet vague explanations of their visions for 2012–13. What’s the importance of student politics, anyways? It’s just a bunch of political science kids practising for their totally obtainable future careers as the next Stephen Harpers and Bob Raes of the world, with the slight chance of Nycole Turmel. What’s funny is most students don’t even know who the aforementioned politicians are, so …
