The Tomato

What’s truly terrifying about haters is that they cannot be easily identified. They could be anywhere at any time. They could be delivering our mail, policing our streets, teaching our children, all the while spreading their hateful manifestos unexpectedly to innocent and undeserving celebrities.

The rapper has taken to social media to reveal more about the Nike-sponsored #YEEZUSWALKS campaign. The campaign will feature West making his way across the country this coming June in his signature Air Yeezy sneakers, using his newly honed healing powers to cure those with physical disabilities.

“We’re all thrilled about the idea of a super-powered royal baby,” said David McDonald, who runs RoyalBabyFans.com. “Will and Kate really let us down last time, so I feel that genetic modification is the logical route they should be taking this time around.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m definitely concerned about the fate of oppressed minorities in the Middle East,” said business owner Brett Targus. “But I’m much more concerned about not knowing the fate of my favourite fictional characters in another war-torn hellhole: Westeros.”

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