The Tomato

“Cliques at the U of O are like what fraternities are to colleges in the states,” he said. “Sure, less people care about that type of popularity game here, but I think that for those who do, it’s important to volunteer for the right clique during the election season. It will be hard to make friends in the other cliques if I don’t choose right on my first go.”

“When I walked through a door for the first time last week,” said Adams. “I wasn’t scared anymore. Besides smelling a bit like a block of aged cheddar, I was symptom-free. Avoiddoorance doesn’t control me anymore. Now I’m the one in charge.”

“Nobody is talking about important issues such as toilet paper reform on campus, or the broadcast of the Olympics, because they are all too busy studying,” said King.

“We’re going to have to change our strategy from a focus on peripheral student issues that really affect only those already invested in student politics to arguments about expanding study space during the school year.”

Many strongly worded letters were written to the FAAMT about the inappropriateness of bringing a cellular device into a movie theatre. While it is a second amendment right in America to own and carry a cell phone, the majority of writers agree that the movie-texter used their device in a manner that was simply uncalled for. In most cases, people felt that the presence of the object in a public area violated their basic safety rights.

“Some people think that students are too loud or their parties are too wild,” said committee member Jane Doh. “We realized the real issue is that Sandy Hill is located too close to the University of Ottawa. If we didn’t live so close to the university, we wouldn’t have these problems.”

“But because of the amounts of people at last week’s meeting we switched to a format of one person going up to the front of the room and complaining into a microphone while the rest of the group had to listen quietly. It really took away the organic feel of weather talk.”

New law outlaws women’s body hair A law passed on Jan. 5 states that women in Canada are no longer allowed to grow hair anywhere other than on their heads. After male members of Parliament deemed women’s body hair a danger to themselves and others, it was decided, with a majority vote, to ban it …

Just last month, Prime Minister Stevie Harper revealed he was duped by the comments of an attractive young journalist working for the Ottawa Denizen who described his helmet hair as “particularly fetching and stylish when seen next to Trudeau’s ridiculous curly locks.”

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