Dear Di

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Dear Di, 

Things have gotten kind of stale in bed with my partner lately and I want to get things going again. Neither of us is all that kinky, but we are a little creative. I was thinking of trying out some role play, but I don’t know where to start. What are some good role play scenarios for beginners?

— Best Actor 

Dear BA, 

Roleplay is definitely your saving grace. You don’t have to be all that adventurous in bed to reap its rewards; although, it certainly wouldn’t hurt. But with comfort levels in mind, we’ll take you through some tried and true and fairly vanilla role-play situations first. 

One that’s classic, fun, and not necessarily kinky is the maid or butler scenario. You get to wear some funky outfits; who doesn’t like to play dress-up? You get to play with power dynamics, which is where shit gets really fun. 

Sidebar: honestly, nearly any scenario where there’s some kind of imbalance of power can be a lot of fun in a roleplay scenario; Fifty-Shades-style boss and intern, or cop and criminal, or doctor and patient (nurse outfits are a plus) — you name it. Just make sure you set boundaries beforehand if you’re messing around with dominance and submission. 

Another classic is the stranger. This is a classic for good reason — it’s super customizable. 

First, make up characters. Then pick a place and show up to it separately, dress real hot, and buy each other drinks. Get to know each other like two random, really horny strangers in a bar, and then take it home after — or just take it to the bathroom, if you’re character is that kind of person. Maybe you aren’t all that kinky, but the Don-Draper-type-character you create for yourself might surprise you by being a little spicier. 

Then there’s the stuff you take from pop culture. This is more about personal taste than anything else. All you need is a costume and a healthy dose of not taking yourself too seriously, and you can fulfill yours or your partner’s teenage fantasy. 

Tom Cruise in Top Gun? Easy. Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction? You bet. Harrison Ford in Indiana Jones? Soft. None of those costumes would take more than a trip to Value Village and a little imagination. Daenerys from Game of Thrones? Admittedly, a little harder, but hey, dream big.

If you find yourselves getting more comfortable and feeling a little more adventurous, you can turn up the heat by introducing elements of BDSM.

The beauty of roleplay is there really aren’t limits, outside the limits set by your own imagination and your comfort level. The sky’s the limit!