Dear Di,
I kissed someone at the bar the other night. I thought it was going great, but then they stopped abruptly to wipe their face and comment on my slobbery kissing. How do I make sure I don’t get that reaction again?!
-Make-out Mortified
Dear MM,
Not to worry. Believe it or not, the best thing that could have happened to you that night at the bar was to get some honest feedback you can work with.
But don’t let the learning end there! Here are some kissing tips you or a friend may want to consider.
If you have to wipe away excess saliva after a make-out session, it just means one or both of you need to close your mouths just a little bit.
To ensure that your noses or hat brims don’t collide, make sure to tilt your head slightly to one side first, following in the opposite direction of your partner.
Don’t forget to breathe. Even if the moment takes your breath away, breathing through your nose is always preferable to passing out.
Just like anything else in the world of love and sex, communication is a crucial ingredient to a good lip lock. As U of O professor and sex therapist Dr. Peggy Kleinplatz points out, research has shown that communication is key to great sex lives, a life that includes lots of kissing. Just telling your partner what your hottest kiss would be like can get you both in the perfect mood.
Contrary to popular opinion, there are more than a few ways to lock lips. For example, light kisses on the lips or in different places may be the difference between getting them in the mood and getting the cold shoulder.
While a lot of people have heard of French kissing, not everyone knows how to pull it off. The key to this one is that your tongue meets with the other person’s playfully—not aggressively. A gentle nibble of their bottom lip may be in the cards if the mutual intensity is there.
One last thing: be mindful of what your lips are wearing to the bar! Personally, I use lip balm or waterproof lipstick for the loveliest, carefree kisses.
Love,
Di
Dear Di,
I keep seeing guys shamelessly touching their crotches and moving stuff around in public, as if it were common practice. Why do they do this? Can I ask my partner to avoid this socially uncomfortable tendency without being rude?
-Crotch Stuff
Dear CS,
In my experience, most men aren’t even aware that they’re doing this. To some, this reaction may be second nature when they’re confronted with a case of “sticky balls” or when their penis is stuck to their leg.
While there’s nothing wrong with trying to make yourself more comfortable, there are definitely some preventative measures that your partner can take to avoid this awkward situation altogether.
For one thing, it’s important for men to get proper-fitting boxers. Some people have found that properly fitted boxers or briefs can prevent unwanted movement during public outings.
Chafing of the balls to the thighs can be the most uncomfortable feeling when it starts to heat up down there, but using the right products can deter the need for impulsive public reorg.
There are numerous ball-drying products that can help men in the battle of the ball-shifting, including lotions, deodorizing wipes, and body powder.
And yes, it is OK to tell your friend or partner that if they need to reorganize their nether region they can do it in private.
Love,
Di
