Dear Ty

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Dear students,

As I take my annual break from working as your columnist at the Fulcrum to travel and have sex in faraway lands, I offer you one final piece of advice: take meaningful risks. I’m not talking about having sex without a condom on—that’s just stupid. I’m talking about finally asking the cutie you’ve been staring at all semester out on a date, about explaining your slightly unconventional fetish to your partner, and about opening yourself up to having new experiences in your relationships. It’s absolutely true what they say: nothing ventured, nothing gained. If you dream of having a summer fling, of finding true love, or of having sex in the cab of a truck while blasting country music, you need to stop waiting around and go make it happen.

I encounter far too many men and women who are afraid of making a move. What’s the worst thing that can happen? Sure, it will absolutely sting if you get shot down, but try to remember that there are people out there who you would shoot down as well, so you can’t expect that your feelings will be reciprocated every time, or even the majority of the time. Once you get over the fact that not everyone’s going to date you, it will be much easier to dust yourself off and move on to more compatible people. No relationship ever started because two people were too shy to speak to each other.

Same thing goes for your sexual fantasies. Best case scenario is that you share said fantasies, your partner thinks your ideas are fucking hot, and you’re both a little more satisfied with your relationship. If they’re not down, recognize that not everyone has the same comfort level but realize they’re unlikely to think any less of you. Think about it: for whatever reason, you might not necessarily be willing to pee in your partner’s mouth, so you shouldn’t take offence or feel bad if telling him or her about your desire to wear a diaper during sex doesn’t immediately tickle their fancy. At least the lines of communication will be open and you can find a compromise that works for both of you.

So go forth, dear students, and turn your fantasies into realities. If you run into trouble along the way, ask yourself what I would do. Then get on your computer and email me at and I’ll tell you explicitly what I would do, either in our summer issue or online. Until then, stay safe and happy fucking!