Dear Ty

Dear Di,

I apparently have a male yeast infection. I’ve been on antibiotics for a really long time, which my doctor warned me could cause such an infection to occur, even though I’m a guy. Based on the redness, irritation, and soreness of my little man’s head, I’m pretty sure I’ve been infected. It hurts so much, I half just want my dick to fall off. Okay, not really, but it’s bad. Help, Di!

—I Thought this Only Happened to Vaginas

 

Dear ITOHV,

Yes, men can get penile yeast infections, and it probably happens more often than you think. While men with yeast infections often show no symptoms, they can also experience symptoms similar to those women experience: extreme itchiness, clumpy white discharge, and redness or blisters. Your best bet right off the bat is to get yourself to a doctor. Although spending an extended amount of time on antibiotics can cause yeast infections, all the issues you listed are also possible symptoms of genital herpes. Get yourself checked out ASAP to make sure you don’t have an STI.

You might not be thrilled with my next piece of advice, which is to try over-the-counter anti-fungal treatments. The problem? They’re mostly labelled “for vaginal use.” Although you will get teased mercilessly if anyone finds the cream in your medicine cabinet, I’m here to tell you it can be safely applied to your sausage. Monistat is one of the most common examples; just apply the medicated cream directly on the affected skin twice daily for about a week. If that doesn’t solve the problem your doc may prescribe some stronger meds.

Regardless of how you got yourself into your current itchy situation, be sure not to spread it around to other genitals! Yeast infections can easily pass back and forth between couples who have unprotected sex, and you don’t want to find yourself in an endless loop of ick and ouch.

Good luck, my itchy-cocked friend. May you never again wish for your member to fall off!

Love,
Di

 

Dear Di,

My boyfriend and I have been discussing it a lot lately, and we’ve decided we’re ready to take the plunge—we’re ready to try anal. Can you give us some advice for how to make sure the first time goes well? I’m especially stressing about the poop factor, so I’m excited to try an enema to make sure I’m totally clean. In fact, I think the whole reason I’m excited for anal is because the enema sounds kinda hot too. Is that normal?

—Incoming Splash into Asshole

 

Dear ISA,

Ah, there’s nothing quite like the first time your rump gets humped. It’s true, though, that if you don’t take the time to do a little research and get things right, anal can be disappointing to both parties. On the other hand, follow my advice and you’re in for a new move to add to your repertoire, while keeping things fun, kinky, intimate, and rewarding.

Assholes are made of delicate tissues packed full of nerve endings that, when properly stimulated, can add a lot to your orgasms and even be their main trigger!

So what’s the most important thing to remember when it comes to bum fun? Lubricant.

Get thee to a drugstore and buy some lube. It will make everything more pleasurable, and it helps prevent both condom tearing and damage to the anus. While you’re at the drugstore, feel free to pick up that enema kit you’re looking forward to using.

For those who don’t know, a self-administered enema is when you clean out the anal cavity by squirting a liquid solution way up in there. Getting an enema package is best because it includes a sterile, single-use bottle with a pre-lubricated nozzle. Depending on the brand, the bottle may contain a sodium phosphate solution. While that enema solution is necessary before certain medical procedures, continual usage may be harmful to your insides. If you think you may want to enjoy enemas on the regular, don’t fret. Simply pour the solution out and add lukewarm water instead. Moderation is key; talk to your doctor about how to ensure you don’t go overboard.

At the same time, don’t worry or feel embarrassed, because you’re not alone. Klismaphilia is the name given to people who enjoy enemas, so being excited for your first one isn’t a big deal at all! They can be pleasurable to both sexes, and have the added bonus of making sure your back door is squeaky clean.

As for the actual anal… Start with a finger and some lube to relax the sphincter. Make sure to use a condom, latex glove, or dental dam. Then, when you’re ready, add a little more lube—or a lot—and take it slow. Doggy style or having the penetrated partner on top can both work, just make sure the one with their colon being colonized is the one who has control over speed and depth. If things get uncomfortable, your partner may need to pull out, play around a little more, and try again, but the reward for getting it right can be a huge payoff.

Happy buttfucking!

Love,
Di