Dear Ty

Cannabis will officially be legal in Canada on Oct. 17. Illustration: Rame Abdulkader.

Dear Ty,

I’ve been a lover of cannabis since my high school days, and with legalization about to turn the tables across the country, my partner is finally ready to give it a shot. My hope is that a little further down the road, they’ll be open to incorporating it into our sex life. Any pointers to help ease them into the realm of high sex?

—Sensual Stoner

Dear SS,

It is indeed quite the exciting time in Canada. Come Oct. 17, cannabis will officially be legalized from coast to coast to coast—secretive consumption no more. But this turning point in Canadian cannabis culture will also mean many people like your partner may now be more open to giving weed a taste, which certainly  open the bedroom door to the world of stoned sex.

I’ll start of by giving some tips for your newcomer partner before diving into how to have the absolute best sex while high as a kite.

First off, it’s important to acknowledge that weed is not for everyone, and any serious stoner is no stranger to a bad high. With this in mind, it might be best to let your partner try weed first outside of the bedroom, unless they’re planning on laying in bed munching a full bag of hot cheetos and binging Netflix. This way, your partner will have a chance to gauge their feelings on weed and experience different strains and methods of consumption to figure out what they like and don’t like.

Then, when and if your partner feels ready to try high sex, start things off slow. You might be ready to get baked out of your mind, but it might be best if your partner just sticks to a few puffs of a joint so they can get used to having sex high. Then, the magic can begin.

Possibly the best part of high sex is the foreplay. As you probably know, being high means everything moves a bit slower and the senses feel a whole lot stronger, making foreplay an absolute playground. Spend some time really getting to know your partner’s body and an equal amount of time letting them explore yours. Learn about pleasure points you didn’t even know you had, and get to know exactly how you like to be touched and fucked.

Being high also means you’re entirely focused on the moment—the future is the future and the past the past. Spend this unique period of headspace building bonds with your partner (I’ll stop myself from using the L-word) and really pay attention to the raw pleasure of sex.

Finally, the orgasm. It’s been a longstanding urban legend that weed can elevate the pleasure, intensity, and length of an orgasm, but a recent article by Tonic suggests that this isn’t just blowing smoke, and is actually quite true. So while foreplay and the build up to the orgasm are extra fun when you’re stoned, the orgasm might just take the cake. Spend as much time as you can building up to your peak and when you are ready to explode with pleasure, find your favourite position and get ready to take in every sweet second of it.

Even after the sex itself is over, don’t let the heated passion of stoned sex die out. Have a good post-sex cuddle, keeping the good vibes and energy of your high going. Be an intellectual for half-an-hour and have some really crazy stoned conversations with your partner—embrace the happiness and creativity you’re feeling.

With high sex in general, however, there are also some pitfalls to avoid—luckily, they can be easily overcome.

Any stoner will tell you that with a pull of a joint comes a persistent case of  cotton mouth. The supposed horrors of “cotton vagina” (I’ll let you guess what that means) were debunked in 2015, but cotton mouth is still a minor barrier to overcome with high sex, since being stoned does lead to dehydration. Make sure you have plenty of liquids nearby and an equal amount of lube to keep things moving smoothly.

Additionally, certain people are prone to paranoia when they’re high. With sex, this is something which could definitely become an issue: did I do that position right? Are they enjoying this? Am I enjoying this? My main piece of advice here is to embrace the beautiful awkwardness of sex. It can be weird sometimes and shit can happen that makes you want to cringe your face off. Embrace these moments, laugh about it, and use your stoned mishaps to build an even stronger bond with your partner.

For the most part, weed is an awesome curveball to throw into anyone’s sex life. While drunk sex can lead to non-functional sexual organs and even the occasional projectile vomit, weed helps the world slow down, the senses turn up, and the connections grow stronger. But moderation and experimentation is key here. Find the optimum level of high for both you and your partner, and don’t push yourself too far. With that being said, grab your grinder and get to it!

Love,

Ty