Dear Ty

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Dear readers,

Where has the time gone? It seems like only yesterday I was introducing myself to the new students on campus in our 101 Week edition. I hope you took my advice in August and safely tried everything your p’s and v’s desired this school year and that you plan to do the same throughout the summer months — even if this includes abstaining from sex completely.

Year after year I receive questions from plenty of students and other members of the community. Some are entertaining and some are more serious, but many of them sadden me. Not because they’re too vulgar or because they’re too tame. Not even because some are quite obviously fake. What makes me upset is the sheer number of people who believe they’re weird or will be rejected by their friends for sexual fantasies or problems they have.

From day one we’re told by peers, parents, and practically everyone else to “be ourselves” but are often chastised when we try to be. Whether it’s your folks forgetting what you want to do with your life, your friends fighting your choice to dye your hair green, or a party full of people poking fun at your sexual inexperience, it often seems like no one actually wants you to just be you. This makes becoming comfortable in our own skin a feat of epic proportions.

My dearest readers, never feel inclined to listen to any voice other than the one inside your head; the voice that says, “I kind of want to try a threesome,” “Maybe I’m not ready to have sex,” or, “Wow, anal feels amazing,” is the only one you should be concerned with appeasing.

If you take one lesson from this year, it’s to never feel strange for something you feel. For the most part, we can’t help what we like. And generally speaking, sexual fantasies and urges (or even non-urges) are shared by many more people than just yourself.

So for my final words of advice before I leave for my summer vacation: If it’s legal, safe, and consensual, do what and who you want. Eff the haters, eff anyone who wants to stifle your sexual expression, and enjoy a summer full of effing the way you want.