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In it to rim it

Photo by Marta Kierkus 

Anal sex has been around forever. But there’s more to explore when it comes to butt play.

This past year alone, the talk of tossing salad has hit the mainstream. Thanks to Nicki Minaj’s lyrics and the opening sequence of this season’s premiere of HBO’s Girls, rim jobs are no longer the butt of any joke.

What’s so good about it?

As a heterosexual female, I have been on both the giving and receiving end of rimming. It feels a lot like the clitoral stimulation of oral sex, since the anus is also endowed with multiple nerve endings to make you go crazy and squirm with delight. And much like genital oral sex, you or your partner can explore your body with your hands while your tongue is rather preoccupied. Rim jobs are also great if your female partner is on her menstrual cycle and you prefer to not engage in vaginal oral sex.

How do I do it?

Obviously, some may be worried about the hygienic factor. I always recommend having a shower very shortly before the act and, of course, not visiting the restroom in between. I also encourage the use of dental dams to make you feel more comfortable (and safe).

It’s best to be in a submissive position on all fours on an incline and have your partner spread your cheeks apart, then have them gently kiss and swirl their tongue around the anus while you and your partner have a free hand to either play with each others’ genitals (stroking the shaft and testicles, stimulating the clit or fingering inside of the vagina) or squeeze and slap your buttocks around.

What should I be careful of?

Rimming should be at the end of any sexual activity, otherwise there’s a risk of bringing any bacteria to the urethra (for any gender to prevent urinary tract infections). Once the act is done, brush your teeth before you kiss anyone, too.

Butt, that’s what I said

Consent and open communication is crucial. Talk to your partner beforehand to see what their boundaries are, and what they are and aren’t comfortable with. During the act itself, talk to them but also read their non-verbal cues. What makes them moan more and breathe heavier is a sign you are most likely doing something right. Rimming may not bring you to orgasm, but it’s something that is fun, pleasurable, and still a little bit kinky.