Features

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Top five hottest political leaders

1. Ethan Plato
Our fearless president-elect is clearly more than just a pretty face, but it’s great to know a looker will be representing us for a year.

2. Amalia Savva
She has the most charming smile we’ve ever seen.

3. Barack Obama
Have you seen that man with his shirt off?

4. Vladimir Putin
According to some Russian news outlets, Putin has wrestled a bear and single-handedly put out forest fires. Nice.

5. Queen Elizabeth II
Let’s face it, she’s a QILF.

—Jean Yevy

Top five slacktivist causes

1.  Kony 2012
Change your Facebook status, tweet at celebrities, put up some posters, and you’ve just brought down fugitive warlord Joseph Kony. Right? No, of course not. Even Uganda’s prime minister is critical of the Invisible Children campaign.

2. Product Red
One of the earliest slacktivst causes, the GAP’s Product Red line was a Bono-endorsed marketing campaign that donated 50 per cent of its profits to fight AIDS. AIDS? Still rampant. The GAP? Still pulling in huge profits.

3. “I like it on the floor” Facebook statuses
Remember the slew of “I like it on the floor” Facebook status updates by your female friends? And remember how they did nothing to “raise awareness” about cancer?

4. Changing Facebook profile pictures to cartoons
Facebook users were encouraged to change their profile pictures to cartoons to raise awareness about child abuse. How cartoons fight against child abuse remains to be seen.

5. Online petitions
Online petitions in general allow Internet users to feel as though they are contributing to a social cause with only the click of a mouse.

—Jessie Willms

Law, shmaw: Top five illegal things we do each day

1. Jaywalk
Who has time to wait for the crosswalk to say “OK I guess you can go now.”

2. Litter
Garbage bins are few and far between, and this cardboard cup is totally compostable… In a year or so.

3. Engage in public drunkenness
Being intoxicated just isn’t the same unless the whole world knows about it.

4. Speed
When you wake up 15 minutes before class starts and you live in Barrhaven or Orleans, it’s peddle to the metal or you can kiss that participation mark goodbye.

5. Partake in some pot
You do it, your mom does it, your dog probably does it behind your back, too.

—Jaclyn Lytle

Top five protests

1. Arab Spring
The Arabic countries have been rebelling against dictatorships for over a year and the fight is still going in some countries—we salute the protestors’ bravery.

2. Keystone pipeline protests
Environmentalists have been fighting against the Keystone pipeline, which would pump oil from Canada to the United States. Obama paused the project as a result of the protests, considering rerouting the pipeline for minimum environmental damage.

3. Russian Winter
Many Russians are trying to bring attention to widespread election fraud, but are constantly demonized by their government.

4. #TellVicEverything
The protests against Vic Toews, Canadian public safety minister, and his online surveillance bill had the hashtag #TellVicEverything trending, Anonymous threatening the minister, and the bill recalled for amendments.

5. Occupy movement
Although a nice gesture supported by many people across the world, nothing really came of it.

—Jane Lytvnenko