Opinions

FSS construction site host of slew of surprises

Photo: Kim Wiens

A promotional picture for the new park being constructed on the University of Ottawa campus, showing what appears to be a student doing drugs among other things, has prompted the authorities to take a closer look at the picture.

With the green space being constructed this fall on the former parking lot at the Faculty of Social Sciences (FSS) building, the photo was sent out by university administration to boast the plethora of ways students could use the new park upon its completion.

There are people walking, talking, studying, and the infamous student doing drugs. This subtle feature has led to more interesting discoveries in the picture. “When I looked at it the second time I noticed that car parked right in the middle, which seems odd for a pedestrian park. I’m pretty surprised that no one else looking at it hasn’t seen the car yet,” said second-year economics student Martin Dart.

Fourth-year engineering student Ami Real noticed what appears to be someone taking candy from a baby upon second glance. “On the right hand side beside a bench you can clearly see a man pulling a lollipop out of a stroller. Is this really the university’s idea of what the park should be like?”

Media relations officer, Mary Hender, said the university admits several mistakes with the photo. “Accidents happen, we acknowledge that fact and apologize that we weren’t able to catch these mistakes before the picture was created.”

She also noted the potential validity of the photo. “If marijuana is legalized after the next election then people might be able to do that in the park, so that particular aspect wouldn’t be a mistake after all.”

Tomato reporter Mickey Rourke is the first person to claim to see a dark pit swallowing up one of the visitors in the park. “I think it might be an unfinished hole from the construction, leading into nothingness underneath the FSS parking lot,” said Rourke.

Other sources can confirm that someone is falling down a hole in the picture,. No one has been able to confirm yet where they might be falling to.

With the park still far from completion, the comical controversy surrounding its promotional photo has been the park’s greatest contribution to campus life.