Darren Sharp

Of course, finishing at the U of O wasn’t the scary part. That would come shortly after, when I had no idea what the hell I was going to do next.

In one of the closest races of the night, the Student Action coalition scored another victory as Christopher Hynes beat out Together Ensemble candidate Marilyn Tourangeau and independent candidate Chris Clarke for the vp university affairs position.

Adam enters the room, sighs, kneels at the foot of the couch, and rips Hannah’s bottoms off for her. After begrudgingly putting on a condom, he grabs her waist, pulls her ass towards him, and attempts to initiate anal sex.

We’ve all exclaimed aloud on January 1st that this is the year we’ll start going to the gym, only to realize come February that our brand new Lululemon gear is crumpled in the corner of our bedroom floor, the tags still on.

For me, using commas, periods, and proper capitalization is a must when sending a text, and the same goes for anyone who wants to date me.

“I’m very comfortable with my personality and my sexuality,” he would tell me later. “No subject is taboo to me.”

I should preface by saying that I’m not actually dating anyone right now, so I’ll be using my relationship with my summer boyfriend as my yardstick. Josh, if you read this: I’m sorry, but journalism calls.

All it takes is a single smile from a complete stranger and you’re hooked. You’re much more prepared to lose yourself in somebody during July, when each decision you make carries a little less weight and staring into someone’s eyes for hours while laying in the sun feels like the most natural activity in the world.

Here’s a brief survival guide for making it through those debaucherous evenings with nothing but a strong buzz and a stronger French vocabulary.

THE OLDER YOU get, the more likely it is you’ve slept with someone and seen each other naked. At some point afterward, you will run into these people and be forced to hold a proper conversation, all the while knowing they can picture you accurately without your clothes on. This is a rather unnerving experience, …