The Tomato

A giant bubble is just one student’s method of avoiding illness. Photo: CC, Alex Proimos.
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Solutions include flamethrowers, giant bubbles, hand sanitizer baths

Students at the University of Ottawa can finally breathe easy as flu season draws to a close, and sat down to share some of the creative solutions they’ve been using to stay healthy and survive the season.

Third-year biology student Allegra Claritin says that spent her flu season living in a giant plastic bubble. “I know it seems excessive but I really cannot afford to get sick right now. I have three essays due next week and if spending four months encased in plastic is what it takes to stay healthy then I’ll do it.”

While Claritin’s approach may seem excessive to some—after all, where does someone even get a giant plastic bubble—other students have taken even more extreme measures to avoid spending the winter months in bed all day with chicken soup or at the hospital.  

“I spent my winter bathing twice a day in gallons of hand sanitizer to keep myself healthy and germ-free,” declared second-year accounting student Ryan Gervais. Gervais admits that had to cancel the practice after Costco stopped selling sanitizer in industrial size containers. “Throwing entire shelves of Purell into a grocery cart became a little too expensive, and the smell of alcohol coming off me was making other shoppers uncomfortable,” he admitted.

Beyond bathing in alcohol and living in a plastic bubble, other students noted fighting the flu with fire. “I burned all my clothing all winter long, just to avoid the possibility of bringing any bacteria into my home,” said fourth-year economics student Andrew Shepard. “The gas for my flamethrower was expensive, but it did help cut down on my heating bill!”

These measures might sound excessive, but they are certainly more impressive than just getting a flu shot. “I could think ahead but I’d much rather spend a few months in a bubble, I guess I’m quirky like that,” said Claritin.

So however you decide to stay healthy next flu season, don’t forget that there are other plenty of fun and outlandish options beyond your ordinary flu shot.