The Tomato

Despite their tendency for political repression and human rights violations, dictators have always taken the fashion world by storm. For the last 75 years, the Tomato has covered stylish tyrants from Adolf Hitler to Muammar Ghaddafi. This week we continue this tradition with an analysis of the best autocratic fashion trends in March.

Kim Jong-Un (North Korea)

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Photo: petersnoopy, CC, flickr.com. Edits: Marta Kierkus

This dictator is changing it up this month. With his new trapezoidal haircut and super-thin eyebrows, he’s sure to turn a few heads in the streets of Pyongyang. Kim cites the Katy Perry song “Firework” as his inspiration for the new look.

“The outward angled hair is meant to evoke the beauty of an exploding firework,” he said in an interview with the Tomato. “It’s so empowering.”

All those with bushy eyebrows, take note. The Supreme Leader is setting the bar high for perfectly coiffed facial hair. Every North Korean is expected to adopt a similar style by the end of the month, or else they will be branded enemies of the state and thrown into work camps.

Vladimir Putin (Russia)

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Photo: Antoniorosset, CC. Edits: Marta Kierkus

The Russian leader has started to embrace equality this month with his pledge to incorporate pink into every one of his March outfits. Putin told the Tomato he’s looking forward to breaking down the longstanding gender stereotype that pink is a “girl’s colour.”

President Putin said he was inspired to act after hearing the story of a boy in Saint Petersburg who was bullied for wearing pink to school. Although past comments from the president might have cast doubts, the leader assures us that he’s completely committed to the cause.

“This look isn’t that complicated. It’s as easy as wearing a pink shirt or a nice pair of magenta socks,” Putin said.

Putin encourages all Russians to join their leader because, as he put it, “equality is an issue that affects everyone.”

Bashar al-Assad (Syria)

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Photo: Fabio Rodrigues Pozzebom, CC. Edits: Marta Kierkus

President Assad has outdone himself. This month he unveiled his newest project: a mustache hair transplant. This new look couldn’t have come at a better time, as Assad’s natural ‘stache has been looking a little thin for a while.

His new and luscious upper lip hair is a twisted beast that wildly curves around his nose. The makeover, although costly, was worth every penny, according to Assad.

“My whole political career has been inspired by villains from old Rocky and Bullwinkle cartoons. I am just so honored that I finally worked up the courage to wear these curly man bristles,” he said.

The bushy black hair has rejuvenated Assad’s look, making him look at least five years younger.