Euphora still
Why are there so many penises? Photo: Euphoria/HBO
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Where the fuck do I start 

If you’re a Euphoria fan, you know that on Jan. 9, season two of the HBO series began airing. 

And boy does it deliver. 

If you haven’t heard of this series, first of all: what have you been doing, and what did you dress up as for Halloween? Secondly, allow me to give you a quick rundown.

The series follows a group of high schoolers, all the fucked-up things they go through, and how all those fucked-up things are ultimately a result of their fucked-up childhoods. 

I don’t want to give away too much, because I honestly think that the performances given by each actor, as well as the cinematography, costume/wardrobe, and VFX, make this show worth the watch. My only advice to anyone planning to watch this show: take everything you see with a grain of salt — maybe a handful.

I know I’m not the only one who believes this — since Twitter is constantly reminding us, and so did Zendaya on the night episode one premiered — but there is no fucking way that these characters are in high school.

Even though a lot of the issues talked about in the show — drug addiction, childhood traumas, mental health problems, abusive relationships (the list literally goes on) — are important discussions I think need to be talked about more frequently and comfortably, there’s no doubt that this show has been overly glorified by its viewers.

But that’s neither here nor there: the point of this article is for me to tell you everything I love and hate about season two thus far.

I’m actually not sure where to start. Honestly, I was planning on writing this review much sooner, but then I got busy, and then episode two came out. So, I thought I might as well watch it. 

That was probably not the best idea.

I have never watched a show that immediately began to unpack every unresolved issue from the previous season. 

Now, if you haven’t seen episode one or two of season two, stop reading! I’m about to get down into it.

What I loved

I’d just like to start by formally stating that Angus Cloud, who plays Fezco, is the love of my life. And I swear if any of you try to claim him, I will “fucking come for you,” as Maddy would say. It’s just nice to see him get more screen time this season. In season one, every episode would start with the backstory of each character and what caused their childhood traumas. I was always curious about Fezco, and specifically what the deal was with his grandmother. So, needless to say, I was happy that season two started off with his childhood backstory. Even more exciting was the fact that Kathrine Narducci, AKA Charmaine Bucco from The Sopranos, was playing Fezco’s grandmother in her youth. It was nice to have some backstory on who she was, since season one only ever shows the older version of her laying in bed getting a sponge bath from Fezco. It was also interesting to learn why he sells drugs, and who the fuck Ashtray, played by Javon Walton, is, and why this twelve-year-old is literally helping sell drugs.

Not only is Fezco getting more screen time, but he also has a love interest! In the first episode, all the characters are at a New Year’s Eve party, where Fezco starts having a conversation with Lexi, played by Maude Apatow. The conversation ends with him asking Lexi for her number. I know what you’re thinking: “Desiree, you just said Fezco is the love of your life, how could you be excited about him getting a love interest?” I might’ve been mad if it was anyone else, but somehow this unexpected couple brings me so much joy — and not just because Twitter did such a great job with it. 

Yes, indeed it was quite the night for Fezco. After getting Lexi’s number, he gets up and walks over to Nate, and starts a conversation with him. It didn’t take long before he smashed a bottle of Smirnoff off Nate’s head, allowing everyone who watched the episode to sleep extra well that night. I’m not here to promote violence, but I’ll admit it was satisfying to see him get beaten up after he hurt so many characters in season one. 

In general, I’m really excited for all the characters who didn’t shine as bright in season one; Fezco, Lexi, and even Ashtray. But it’s also exciting to see new characters like Elliot, played by the beloved Dominic Fike, entering the mix. I’m interested to see what happens between him and Rue, and the love triangle that’s clearly forming with the two of them and Jules.

I think some honourable mentions also go out to Maddy, for having the best outfits, and reminding me how no matter how many times I go shopping, I will never live up to her wardrobe.

What I hated

If you’ve read up to this point, I’m assuming you’re either a Euphoria fan, or you don’t care about spoilers. Either way, I think you know what the fuck I hated about the first two episodes of season two. I’ll give you a hint, their names rhyme with “fate” and “sassy.”

Nate and Cassie’s sudden fling is probably the most disappointing part of the new season. Aside from the fact that Maddy, Nate’s ex-girlfriend, is Cassie’s best friend — girl, what are you doing? I already know Cassie is about to go through a whole lot of shit this season, and honestly, I’m already sick of it. Some people might think that Nate is more at fault for their hooking up than Cassie, but if I’m being honest, it takes two. And Cassie, girl, you need to step up your fucking game. I’m not excited to see where this relationship goes, because we already know how toxic it is.

Something else that really bugged me is how many penises I had to witness. I watched episode one with both of my parents in the room. And if you’ve seen it, then you know why I’m commenting on it. I don’t know what compelled Levinson to give us so many full-frontals in the first episode, but I feel like he’s reached his quota for the whole season. Seriously, he could have spread those scenes out throughout the season, and it still would have been too many. 

My last comment isn’t necessarily something I hated, but I’m just not liking. Maybe I’m the only one, but I am shocked at the pace that they are addressing all of the unresolved issues. Only two episodes have come out and the characters have been through so much. I think I keep forgetting that even though we’ve been waiting two years for the second season, it’s only been a few months for the characters, and so it’s not strange that Levinson wants to get into it. My only worry is: what will be left at the end of this season? Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself.

Overall, I’m looking forward to seeing what happens this season. Rue and Jules will clearly have some relationship issues, especially with the new Elliot character encouraging Rue to take drugs. Fezco and Lexi are in the beginning phases of their relationship, and, let’s be honest, this is the best part. And on the opposite end, I’m excited to see Cassie come to her damn senses, and for Nate and his family to rot in hell.

A new episode has come out on Jan. 23, and you can watch it on HBO.