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Trump and Biden
I'm so tired. Image: Dasser Kamran/Fulcrum.

Spoiler alert: it’s literally anything else

Y’all. 

I’m so tired. 

(I’m the Fulc’s resident American: if you’re new here, you can find more 2020 United States election thoughts here and here.)

If you didn’t watch the debate, you didn’t miss much. I did watch the debate, and wish I had watched literally, truly anything else.

Here’s a list of things I’d rather have watched on Thursday night.

  1. Home Alone 2. Trump’s performance? Impeccable.
  2. Diary of a Wimpy Kid 2. (#NotMyRodrick)
  3. Roughly two episodes of Dance Moms (not including reunion specials).
  4. The fireplace app on my Smart TV.
  5. The aquarium channel.
  6. Approximately 90 one-minute TikToks.
  7. Approximately 180 thirty-second TikToks.
  8. Paint dry (from wet to semi-gloss).
  9. This video of a penguin’s first day as an intern at Random House, 45 times.
  10. Thursday night football featuring the (1-5) New-York Giants and the (1-4-1) Philadelphia Eagles. (Can you tell this one was suggested by my much more sports-savvy editor?)

I wish I could say with any certainty that things will be clearer, fairer, or at all better after Nov. 3.

But the final debate did not instill such confidence in me. It has left me, for lack of a better term, shell-shocked. 

If you need me, I’ll be getting to work on tackling the above list over reading week.

Be kind to each other.