Dear Di,
So, I think I did a bad thing. I have this really hot roommate, and the whole time we’ve lived together I was sure I felt some sexual tension between us. But last night, we all went to the bar, and when the rest of my roommates went to bed, we finally had sex. I woke up, went back to my room, and haven’t left it since. Do I have to move out? What should I do now?
— Roomie Romance
Dear RR,
One of the countless problems that arise from being young, hot, and broke is exactly this. You can’t afford your own housing, so chances are you live with a handful of other young, hot, and broke people. And that can lead to this.
Do you have to move out? That might be a little premature. I’d say leave your room first.
First of all, you should take a minute and figure out how you feel about this. Do you regret it? Was it fun? How you feel about this is going to play a big role in determining if it’s time to pack your bags. It is, however, only half the equation. The next step can only be ascertained by leaving your room.
This could play out in a few ways. Things could go back to the way they were. Your roommate might pretend nothing happened, and if you feel comfortable, you can pretend the same, and if that’s the case, you’ve got no problems. You can go back to sharing an address and nothing else.
Unfortunately, things can’t always go back to the way they were. Either things become awkward afterward, or someone catches unreciprocated feelings, and this can quickly poison your living situation. I’m not going to lie to you, this might be something that can only be resolved with one of you leaving. Several testimonies in a Cosmo round-up on roommate hookups go this route. If that’s the case here, just take the lesson you’ve learned and save sex for someone else’s roommate.
Scenario three: the sex was good. They’re willing to take the risk. You’re willing to take the risk. You’ve now scored yourself the lowest maintenance hookup ever. Or have you?
This scenario has two subplots. One is that this goes fantastically and you either fall in love or just have a lot of fun for a while before amicably moving on to better things. The second is that things start off okay, something takes a turn for the worst, and then you end up right back in scenario number two.
If you’re asking for my advice, I’d honestly say that it’s best you put this affair to bed. Good roommates are hard to come by, and apartments this time of year in this city? Not so plentiful. There are so many fish in the sea. Maybe try casting your line a little further.
Love,
Di
