Dear Di

Online dating is one of the most popular ways to meet new people, so don’t mess this up. Images: Flickr/Edits by Rame Abdulkader
Reading Time: 2 minutes

Dear Di,

Look, don’t get me wrong, I’m no 10, but if you looked at my dating app matches, you’d think I was a four. Do you have any tips for being better at making online dating profiles? What’s the secret to Tinder, Bumble, or Grindr success?

Swiper No Swiping

Dear SNS,

This is a dating issue as fundamental as any — gone are the days of the local watering hole and sending drinks over to people who caught your eye. This is the era of digital entertainment, and that means digital dating, too.

So here are some tips on how to make your profile stand out in the crowd. Like tight pants, but for Tinder, Bumble or Grindr!

First of all, no matter how unphotogenic you might be, you can’t just leave it to one picture. One picture does not give swipers a good enough idea of who you are, and equally importantly, what you look like, for them to commit. A one picture profile is not going to get you a lot of matches.

Also, this should go without saying, but do not make a meme your only picture. Just don’t. In fact, don’t even include a meme in your profile at all, or if you really have to, make it your last picture. Save those for the chat once you’ve already secured the bag. No one ever saw a meme and thought yeah, that’s a person I want to hook up with. Even if they did, is that really someone you’re interested in anyway?

Group pics: effective, in moderation. If it’s all mirror selfies and Snapchat filters, it’s not going to over well, but that’s actually better than the alternative. If it’s all group pics, swipers can’t tell which one is you. This is critical. You might love your friends, but do you really want matches who would rather date your friends? Also, for added credibility, Tinder creator Sean Rad supports this theory in his article for GQ. 

Another common mistake is skipping the bio. I’m guilty of this one, but I’ve recently realized the error of my ways. It’s tricky — it’s a fine line between sharing too much and giving away too little. The risk of not having a bio is people either think you’re a) a bot, or b) boring. Neither is going to get you a lot of matches.

Rad’s GQ article provides a few more good pointers when it comes to the bio, like keeping it focused, keeping it short, and including one or two hobbies.

He also provides us with the memorable quote: “If someone’s reaction is to slap you without even having met you yet (based on your bio), you’re doing it wrong. If they don’t learn anything about you from your bio, you’re also doing it wrong.” 

Couldn’t have said it better myself.

And finally, a bunch of miscellaneous tips: don’t hold a fish. Dog pics are overrated. The Office quotes are overused. We get it, you’re an aspiring MILF or DILF.