Dear Di,
I’ve been seeing this girl for four months and things are going really well. I can’t complain about the sex, it’s great. However, I noticed something when we have sex with the lights on: she’s very vagina shy. She doesn’t like it when I can clearly see her vagina. Now, I don’t want to impose something she doesn’t want, but I figured that sex could be better, especially for her, if she was a little more comfortable with her fun hole. So Di, do you have any tricks for me to help my girl build some vagina confidence?
—Pussies are Pretty
Dear PAP,
Usually we’re our own harshest critics, especially when it comes to our cumers. I’ve heard all the complaints like “I’m too big,” “it’s too puckered,” “my lips are saggy,” etc. You’re right to assume that if your partner is constantly twittering about her twat, her low self-opinion is probably holding her back from truly enjoying your sexperiences.
That said, it’s incredibly difficult to make someone change their opinion about themselves, but there are things you can try to make your partner feel more positively about her pretty peach.
First and foremost, you have to understand that everyone is different. Though one person may respond well to motivation and kind words, some people may not and will need your actions to speak louder than your words. Do you act excited to lick her clit? Do you say things to make her feel comfortable? Note that telling your partner to relax before putting her mound in your mouth isn’t going to help.
The best time to dish out compliments is when you two are about to bump uglies. However, tread lightly. Don’t overdo them or they can sound insincere. When you’re pulling down her pants, a quiet little, “You’re so sexy” will do wonders. “You make me so hot,” or “You really turn me on” are also phrases that may make her feel more comfortable. Unless your partner really likes dirty talk, going all out with “Your hot, dripping wet pussy makes my cock throb” probably won’t do much to make her feel relaxed or comfortable.
Reassuring your partner that you love having sex with her when you’re not engaging in pussy play is also a great way to get her ready and relaxed before your next rumpus time. Talk about your sex specifically. Say things like, “The last time we banged was epic,” or, “I always really enjoy going down on you,” instead of saying that she looks beautiful or has a gorgeous pussy. If she is self-conscious about her vagina, she may not value it being the topic of conversation.
Of course compliments can only go so far, dear PAP. If the issue persists and you notice she really feels uncomfortable, your best bet is to talk about how she’s feeling before attempting to lick her lady flower with the lights on.
Love,
Di
Dear Di,
My boyfriend went out of town for the week and I masturbated so much that I think I formed a callus on my penis. Is that possible? Or is it something else like an STI or something? And what should I tell him until it goes away? I’m really embarrassed about it but obviously I’m really horny and want to have sex.
—Concerned about this Callus
Dear CATC,
It sounds like you’ve been self-loving and rubbing without lube. Tisk tisk. Lube not only makes for a sensational and pleasurable experience, but also wards off any chaffing or callusing that accompanies frequent masturbation.
Hand-to-dick action day after day is bound to irritate or even callus your member, however I do still advise you get to a doctor before penetrating your partner. Though calluses are possible, so are genital warts and other sexually transmitted infections, and it’s better to be safe than sorry.
When you get your penis checked, if the doctor advises it’s callused skin, telling your partner shouldn’t be embarrassing at all. He was gone and you were horny without him, so much so that you had to step up your jerking routine. He’ll most likely chuckle and take it as a compliment, but it’s likely that he’ll notice the bump, so you really should tell him what it is to keep him from panicking.
If you’re a glass-half-full type of person, this is your perfect opportunity to venture out and buy some new lube as a couple. Spice it up a little and try a cooling or warming lube or even something flavoured for your sucking and fucking pleasure.
Love,
Di
