Dear Ty

Dear Di,

I have a question that may seem a little odd. My girlfriend really likes food in the bedroom and one day she suggested using melted ice cream as lubricant. I said no but I am curious as to whether it would be safe to use any around-the-home, foodie liquids in place of regular lubricant. Ideas? And if I were to use ice cream to make her cream what would happen?


—Looking for a Lube Alternative

Dear LFALA,

You were right in rejecting the ice cream idea. Apart from being incredibly messy, it’s also incredibly dangerous for your girlfriend’s vagina and can cause a plethora of short-term and long-term problems.

To be honest, most at-home products that aren’t specifically designed to be pushed into a pussy will not be safe lube alternatives. I’ve heard it all: olive oil, whipped cream, even orange juice. None of the stories resulted in anything other than yeast or bladder infections, more severe irritations, or other even more substantial internal issues.

If your lady is really into using food products in the bedroom, try squirting things like chocolate sauce all over external parts or even melting ice cream on her more erogenous zones, like her neck or nipples.

Though you shouldn’t be putting anything that’s not real sex lube in your lady’s flower, you can use things like vegetable oil and olive oil as anal lube. But beware, oil-based lube will tear latex condoms, so if there’s any dick-to-ass action ensure both of you are in a monogamous relationship and have been tested regularly together. If you’re using sex toys for anal play with oils, make sure they’re silicone and properly sized for the butt you’re fucking. Rubber toys won’t fare well with any oil-based lube, so keep those butt jellies away from the cooking oils.

Love,
Di

Dear Di,

I read your article online about nipple play and was wondering why you were so quick to dismiss knife play. I’ve always been interested in trying it with a partner but you seem adamant about skipping it. Obviously it sounds like it could be dangerous, but it also sounds like it could be fun. Any tips for us who maybe want to try it out?


—New to the Knife

Dear NTTK,

I’m happy you called me out on my comment about knife play. Personally, I will never truly condone it because quite frankly, people tend not to listen and if they do, they don’t listen fully. Though there are ways to use knives in the bedroom without causing serious harm to yourself or your partner, I decided to leave it out of my article simply because I don’t want to be responsible for an “accident” that could cause permanent damage.

When surface cuts are made deeply and knives aren’t sterile, blood loss and infection can become problems. There are also a number of people who want to try knife play but don’t have partners that feel the same way, even though they may not express their insecurities towards it. As such, I don’t feel comfortable offering any knife play tips per say, however I’d be glad to direct you to sources that can help you master this art.

If you’re going to go for the gusto and bring a knife into the bedroom, ask an expert face-to-face about the situation. The education-oriented sex shop Venus Envy, located at Bank and Lisgar Streets, has a very knowledgeable staff that will be able to openly discuss your questions about not only knife play, but anything to do with sex in general. They offer a pamphlet in the bondage section of the shop that is a great starting source for info on knife play and have other books that may be able to guide you step by step as well.

To reiterate, though I won’t go into details about participating in knife play, I will say that I’m glad there are folks like you, dear NTTK, who are willing to fully research and safely explore your fantasies.

Love,
Di