Dear Di,
When it comes to bra sizes, I’m on the smaller end of the spectrum. I try not to be self-conscious about it, but when I go to the bra store the salespeople are always trying to push more padding on me. All of this is making me question: am I not sexy without huge boobs?
–Boob Bummer
Dear BB,
It is incredibly understandable to feel unsure about your own body image, especially considering the mainstream media’s projection of what defines sex appeal.
Don’t let photoshop, hours of makeup, and public relations magic throw you off your game. Real people do not look like models 24/7, which is why the undergarment, skin-care, makeup, and plastic surgery industries are all big money makers. Businesses will thrive off a person’s insecurities and self-doubt to sell you the next fad.
But you always have to remember that what defines sexy is entirely subjective. Even your own ideas about what you are attracted to may change if you meet someone that makes you happy.
If you let other people define who you are you will never be happy, because you are relying on other people’s opinions, something that is drenched in personal bias and is subject to change.
Instead, try and find what makes you feel sexy. That could be anything from a sports bra and hoodie, or the infamous padded push-up bra. It’s really a very personal choice and only you can decide what the best fit is.
Because at the end of the day, the sexiest attribute you can show off is the confidence in yourself. It says to everyone else that you know who you are and embrace who you are just as you are. That is sexy.
Love,
Di
Dear Di,
I’m a Cleveland Browns fan, but my partner is a New England Patriots die hard. I get that the Patriots are a strong team, but does he have to harp on me so much for cheering on the Browns? It’s really starting to bother me. What should I do?
–Go Browns
Dear GB,
Okay, so obviously relationships can get tricky when it comes to conflicting sports teams. But thankfully, if it’s just a case of miscommunication or light ribbing then the conflict should be easily resolved.
Now if he is so competitive that it crosses over into the realm of mean-spirited jokes and ad hominem attacks, then it’s time to sit down and have a talk.
Let him know that when he crosses this line it doesn’t make you feel respected.
So long as there is mutual respect then he should understand that it’s not teasing for you, but kicking someone when they’re down—like if your teams eats a humiliating loss—is always unnecessary and in poor character.
Of course, if this kind of belittling behaviour continues after your sit down, you may want to reconsider your relationship status.
When someone puts someone else down to make themselves feel better, whether it’s about sports, school, or any other area of life, it’s a tell tale sign that they lack confidence and emotional maturity.
He may just be goofing around, but if it’s actually making you feel bad about yourself then it’s up to you to confront him respectfully and take initiative to communicate. You may not be able to control whether your team wins, but if you can intercept this relationship problem early you’ll see all the difference.
Love,
Di
