Dear Di,
I know every guy masturbates and that it’s totally healthy. But when is it too much? I masturbate several times a day and sometimes the urge is so strong that I need to leave class or work to jack off in the bathroom. Is there something wrong with me?
-Jacking John
Dear JJ,
You’re right that everyone masturbates and that it is healthy, particularly as a way to release tension and stress. But you’re also right when you say that there is a point where too much is too much. Usually that point is reached when a sexual act begins to interfere with your everyday life.
If you’re finding that you have to abandon your work or school responsibilities, then it becomes a real concern. The urge to masturbate should never be strong enough to make you halt what you’re doing, and if this inference is also causing you serious distress then it might be time to take some preventative measures.
The answer to decreasing your masturbation habit may be as simple as redirecting your energy and time into different outlets, like exercise or sports for example.
It’s also important to be patient and disciplined, traits that, if you make them habits, will help you gradually resist the strong urges to pleasure yourself during inconvenient times.
If you still experience significant distress after taking these steps, then it may be a good idea to seek some counseling services. It’s difficult to admit when you need help, but some battles are impossible to win by yourself, so don’t be afraid to speak with an expert to take back control of your life.
Love,
Di
Dear Di,
I’ve been in a relationship for the past three years and I love my boyfriend… so much so that I’m not sure I can manage on my own. But a few days ago he admitted to sleeping around with someone else. I’m not sure how to process the information or what to do. Is it even possible to put this behind us now that the trust between us has been shattered? I want to make it work, but I’m not sure where to even start. What should I do?
-Once a Cheater…
Dear OC,
First of all, I’m sorry to hear about this. I imagine this must be a difficult time for you. Trust is the foundation of all relationships, so when your partner violates that trust it’s very difficult to build it back up. That being said, this process is not impossible and many couples do get through it, although many don’t.
The best way to approach this ugliness is to openly discuss what happened, and why your partner did what he did. Usually, individuals will cheat because of a breakdown of communication in the relationship. Sometimes it’s easier to get something from a stranger than to bring it up with a loved one. This is not to say you’re at fault in any way, but this stage is a good opportunity to communicate about your relationship and put everything on the table.
Once everything is out in the open, you can both work on putting it in the past and moving forward. The hard part is not bringing it up in arguments later on or harbouring any resentment in the long term.
The journey to forgiveness and trust is a long and challenging one, which requires work from both parties. So if you’re both committed to making it work, and putting in the effort, then it’s better to try than always wondering “what if”. But if you think you won’t be able to move past this bump in the road, then unfortunately this is where your relationship ends.
Love,
Di
Fun sex toys for women to try in 2016
1.The Rabbit: If you’re a Sex and the City fan you’ll know exactly what the Rabbit is. This is a great beginner’s sex toy, so if you’re in the market for a “Lady’s First Vibrator” you can’t go wrong here, since the shaft on this model has little rotating balls that help you hit that G-spot every time!
2.Vibrating Rock Chick: Once you feel you’ve mastered the Rabbit, be sure to try out this powerful toy. It’ll feel like someone’s doing the “come hither” motion inside of you while also thumbing on your clit. What more can a women ask for?
3.Heart shaped nipple massagers: Always wanted to try nipple clamps, but were a little freaked out that they may be too painful? Well, these heart shaped nipple massagers are much less intimidating and provide an endless stream of vibration on your breasts so that your man is free to use his hands elsewhere.
4.We-Vibe: Sometimes you want to get your partner in on the action, and there’s no better sex toy out there for this purpose than the We-Vibe. It’s like the Rock Chick, except that your man can penetrate you while you’re wearing it! This vibration will leave you both in hot ecstasy ;)
