Dear Di,
I’ve been dating this guy for the past couple weeks and I’m ready to have sex with him. The only catch is that he mentioned how he doesn’t like tattoos on women, and I have tattoos on my chest and back. I haven’t told him yet because I’m scared I might drive him away. What should I do?
—Tattooed and Timid
Dear TT,
Tattoos and piercings can often create some tension in the bedroom. While some people hate them, others are wildly turned on by them.
When it comes to your partner, the more obvious solution to this dilemma is to talk with him. As with all potentially volatile situations, communication is key and might help you avoid that awkward moment when he finally lifts up your shirt and he sees your tats.
Before you have sex with him, you might want to subtly ask him why he doesn’t like tattoos, and try understanding his point of view. There’s a chance that once he sees your ink in the flesh he won’t mind them at all, but it’s best to work that out before you start stripping.
What’s most important is that you feel confident in your own skin. Someone you are intimate with should enjoy your body, with or without tattoos.
If you are starting to feel less attractive because of your ink, then he is not the right person for you.
If your partner will not accept an integral part of your body and personality, he’s gotta go. Personal preference is one thing, but feeling uncomfortable because of your looks is another.
Love,
Di
Dear Di,
I’ve recently found myself watching porn a lot more, and I don’t know why. Most of my female friends talk negatively about porn, so I feel a bit guilty as a woman who indulges in it on the regular. Is there something wrong with me?
—Guilty Pleasures
Dear GP,
Not to worry. I can assure you that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you. The adult entertainment industry has slowly started trying to appeal more to women. In fact, according to the Independent, more than a third of women watch porn weekly.
Though the industry itself is far from perfect in its treatment of women, watching porn can be an easy and safe way to discover what turns you on.
It allows us to explore sexual activities that we might otherwise not be comfortable doing ourselves. The myth that women only watch porn in order to better please their partner has thankfully been debunked. According to a survey done by the American magazine Marie Claire, only 12 per cent of women claim that they like porn because it helps them understand what their partner likes.
Another reason why you might be enjoying porn is because you spend a lot less time consuming than actually having sex. Almost three-quarters of women agree that the main reason why they watch porn regularly is because it’s a quick road to an orgasm.
If you aren’t experiencing any sexual disinterest toward your boyfriend, then your porn-watching habit shouldn’t worry you too much. Adult films might just be helping you discover what you like in bed, and, more importantly, how to please yourself.
Love,
Di
