Humour

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Stop the Student Vote points to current political calm

Photo: Kim Wiens

“Presumably, most of you reading this will not be voting in the upcoming election,” said chapter president Jane Smith. “To anyone that plans to partake in this redundant process, let me enlighten you as to why voting isn’t worth your time.”

Smith cited time constraints as a valid reason for students to spurn their democratic duties. “Between attending 8:30 a.m. lectures and clubbing ‘til dawn over in Gatineau, many students barely have enough time to squeeze in their recommended daily dose of Netflix,” Smith said. “How could we possibly find time to pay attention to what’s going on in our country, let alone figure out where to vote and how to register?” 

John Donaldson is a second-year history student at the University of Ottawa who isn’t planning to vote come Oct. 19. “Voting isn’t as easy as it looks, and unlike the rest of the Canadian population, millennials just don’t have enough leisure time to go out and vote,” Donaldson said.

“Student votes barely matter anyway. In the last election 1,125,200 eligible voters aged 18-24 didn’t bother voting,” Smith said. “Do they honestly think their vote could have had an impact?”

“I also feel like politicians don’t understand what student needs are,” said Donaldson. “They talk about cutting tuition but the most important issues facing students is the skyrocketing prices of ramen noodles and printer ink.”

Smith said the lack of controversy surrounding Canada’s current political landscape, means there’s no need to change the status quo. “Canada’s been expertly able to hand things like the migrant crisis as well as Bill C-51 so there’s no reason for any changes.”

“I really feel like the baby boomers have done such an excellent job handling issues like climate change and the economy that my opinion isn’t needed,” said Donaldson.

“They care about the wellbeing of future generations, and their policies show it, so there’s no point in getting involved.”

Smith, left some final words for students.

“Above all, don’t forget that your life will be completely unaffected no matter who wins in October. Whether our next prime minister is Harper, Trudeau, Mulcair, or May, there will still be cheap apartments, high-paying jobs for university graduates and an endless line of voters with our best interests at heart.”