The Tomato

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Pandas, Rap and Haircuts may deter Trudeau from returning to Parliament

Prime Minister Justin Trudeau got quite the welcome when he was in Washington for the state dinner last week. While his relationship with American President Barack Obama was well documented,  the real bromance was with Canadian musician, The Weeknd.

The two got into some certifiably crazy antics.

After meeting in Washington, the two apparently hopped on a plane to Toronto to hang out with the same pandas that the prime minister named just a few weeks ago. Zookeepers on the scene reported hearing Trudeau yelling “Shhh… be quiet man. Just lay low a second. These pandas trust me, but I’m not sure if you’ve earned it.”

When authorities came to the scene, Trudeau was told to put the pandas down and exit their enclosure.

After taking copious amounts of angsty selfies with security,  the pair left the zoo to continue their day at a local recording studio.

“We just fired everything up, dropped some beats and did some freestyling over top of it all. He was really good at it, and let loose some fire. If this whole Prime Minister thing doesn’t work out he could definitely make it in the rap game,” said the Weeknd.

The duo then visited the Weeknd’s barber, who proceeded to give Trudeau a haircut that almost exactly resembled the Weeknd’s. When asked if he was worried about his new ‘do appearing unprofessional to Canadians, Trudeau scoffed and said “nah man, this is just for the party and the afterparty.”

Rumour has it that, despite his public deflections, Trudeau is seriously considering abandoning all the stress of Parliament for a life of fame and fortune. A Toronto-based bartender reported hearing Trudeau yelling in an alleyway, arms linked with the Weeknd that “all that money is the motive!”

When asked for comment after being enlightened to the prime minister’s recent escapades, Sophie Grégoire-Trudeau turned pale and quietly uttered “Oh no, not this again…” before retreating from the media.

Only time will tell whether Trudeau’s time with the Weeknd will have a lasting impact on our nation’s political leader. But one thing’s for sure—once Trudeau can feel his face again, he might regret that haircut.


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