U of O student realizes it’s December
Philip Roberts, first-year student and Marchand resident, has been in a trance-like state ever since his roommate revealed to him that it’s actually December. It’s an easy thing to miss, between having a so-called “midterm” a week before final exams start, and the unseasonably warm weather. Normally the short calm after midterms finish in October are a gentle enough wake up call to ease people into December. The confusion caused by seeing snow while studying for a “midterm” can be enough to cause a lasting mental snap.
The incident arose when Roberts’ roommate came home to their dorm room with armfuls of Christmas decorations. “I honestly just thought October was running long this year,” said a wide-eyed Roberts—these would be his last words before falling into a panicked stupor.
Roberts was unable to provide comment to the Tomato, aside from a near unintelligible “f-f-finals… but midterms just… just want sleep… Doritos”.
It’s unclear whether his state of confusion will end before his first final, but upon examining Roberts Health Services said his condition is “nothing that a case of Red Bull and a few bags of Doritos can’t fix.”