Cat named after Lamoureux finds solace in his independence
Mario Quinn went home to the Sault. Erik Pinto is spending half the week in Montreal. No one knows where Youssef Tangri went. Matt Rolfe enjoyed a sunny vacation at his mother’s in Stittsville. But how did “Lamoureux” the apartment tabby spend his break week?
He hung back in Sandy Hill, guarding the boys’ home for the week.
There was a quarter of a bag of Purina cat food – approximately 5 days of rations – in his bowl, barely touched. In addition to his bowl and three soup bowls, his bathtub was filled to the brim with lukewarm shower water meant to be drunk only in cases of nuclear armageddon and natural disaster.
“Lamby” informed the Tomato he spent his reading week by taking some leave off work, relaxing, and watching the cars drive past his window. “Meow? Meow… meow?” Lamby’s work consists of running around the house at breakneck speed and scratching the couch.
Local cat lover Brenna Turner gave her disapproval with a tired glare at reporters. “I could never leave my cats alone. I’ve brought my girl Indica to Bermuda twice now and I’m doing it again for Christmas.” On Turner’s second trip, Indica was seized for fifty days by British customs for violating “cuteness directives.”
Youssef did not respond to a request for comment in time for publication. Erik stated to the Tomato that he left “Lamby” in Ottawa as he “wasn’t built for Montreal driving.” Erik’s Poparide was nearly involved in a fender-bender entering the Île-aux-Tourtes bridge.
The closest roommate to Ottawa, Matt, told The Tomato he didn’t want to bring Lamby home because he is “kinda a lot of work” and “was there when I moved in.”
Lamby was originally picked off the street by Jake Bissonnette, a now-father of two, recent graduate of the University of Ottawa’s medical program, and former resident of the boy’s apartment. Bissonnette declined to comment, feeling he had no authority over the day-to-day life of his ‘boy’.
When The Tomato reached out to Mario about the condition of his cat, he replied: “What cat?”
