Ian “One Parlay Away” Debtor has been seen sleeping in his plate of fries at F&S as roommates prepare for his possible eviction
Ian Debter, a fourth year Telfer student has recently gained campus wide attention in his quest to turn his rent savings into “the March Madness parlay of the century.” The expected return of his wager would be enough to pay off the entirety of his tuition costs, with just enough left over to grab a promised round at Father and Sons for all of his supporters.
Following his recent ban from Gatineau’s Lac Leamy Casino, Debter turned to FanDuel to create his 17-leg bet, which currently stands at +4500 odds.
Lac Leamy declined to comment directly on Debter, but referred the Fulcrum to their Code of Conduct, which prohibits sleeping overnight in their establishment — even to claim the “luckiest machines” as soon as the Casino opens.
“I don’t know why the caz’ didn’t want my business. I’m just a passionate customer” Debter told the Fulcrum.
Roommates of Debtor have expressed concern regarding his fiscal plan. “Last time he couldn’t make rent, he kept trying to establish a barter system in the apartment,” said Grant Aces. “But Ian, for the last time, we don’t want your advice for fantasy football picks, we need the cash.”
Trying to keep the peace, Aces, turned to the r/GeeGees subreddit for advice. Instead of advice, Gee-Gees assembled online to cheer Debter on, some encouraging him to also bet on online bingo — promising donations if he streams it live.
“Call me an entrepreneur. Call me a venturer or even a risk-taker. But you miss 100 per cent of the bets you don’t place,” said Debtor.
His newly launched streaming channel can be found on Twitch at the gamertag “$caredMoneyDontMakeMoney”
This article was initially released as part of the Fulcrum’s April Fools Tomato Pilot Issue.
- New student levy passes; “Tomato” publication to be funded for 2025-26 school year – The Fulcrum
- TOMATO: University of Ottawa confused for Ottawa University by prospective applicant after autocorrect error – The Fulcrum
- TOMATO: Telfer student turns rent money into “can’t miss” March Madness parlay – The Fulcrum
- TOMATO: Former SFUO executives apply for club funding, denied faster than a U-Pass Refund Request – The Fulcrum
- TOMATO: Melting Ottawa snow banks reveal natural foliage of city and new discoveries – The Fulcrum
- TOMATO: Proven tactics to distract your lecture hall – The Fulcrum
- TOMATO: Student takes job at OC Transpo in a desperate attempt to avoid moving home – The Fulcrum
