Prioritize quality over quantity
Dear Di,
I’ve been in residence for four months and I have yet to make the million friends that everyone else seems to have.
Did I miss a memo or something? It seems like everyone on campus received some sort of ‘University Culture for Dummies’ pamphlet in their frosh week swag bags — except for me, of course. I’ve made a couple of friends, but I’m definitely not jetting off to parties every weekend — unlike everyone else, according to Snapchat. I want to make the most of my second semester, though. What should I do?
– Friendless in Friel
Dear FF,
So, you’re looking to make more friends in your second semester — you’re in luck! It’s the perfect time. The beauty of first year is that everyone is looking for friends. Talk to the people on your floor, in your classes, in the elevator. Approach people in the cafeteria. Send some DMs! Some of my best friends came from making the first move, whether in-person or online. Like classes, friendship has the capacity to be bimodal.
However, don’t forget to prioritize quality over quantity. Keep those couple friends you already have, if they’re good ones. You’ll meet so many people throughout the course of your university career. You’ll go to parties, learn twenty names, and forget them all on the walk home. In the long run, it’s who you’re going and leaving with that truly matters.
As for that feeling of, “everyone else has it figured out but me.” Social media has a way of making every night look like a movie. You’re tapping through Snapchat stories and suddenly you’re wishing you were on the big screen rather than sitting in the audience. It’s a classic case of FOMO.
A general rule for life is that most people’s totally put-together picture-perfect lives are just that: a picture. Two-dimensional, superficial, fleeting images that are never really as good as they look. That’s not to say they’re not having fun at those parties. Of course, they may be having the times of their lives! I just mean: take social media with a grain of salt. The grass is always greener, et cetera, et cetera.
All the best in your friend-making endeavours!
Love,
Di
