Dear Di

From dildos and strap-ons to vibrators and more, toys offer a whole new dimension to sex. Photo: Wikicommons/Morderska

Dear Di,

Sex has been really predictable lately and I’m looking for a way to spice things up. I know sex toys are a big trend but I’ve never used any, and I was wondering how to go about incorporating them into my sex life. Have any pointers?

— Toys R Us

Dear TRU

A whole new world awaits you. Let’s get you introduced to it.

Sex toys can be a fun way to shake things up, with or without a partner. Since you’re a beginner, we’ll start with the basics, but keep in mind the world of technology has opened the door to all kinds of digital and remote-controlled fun as well!

So to start you off, you’ve got your classic dildos. They come in all sorts of varieties — different shapes, sizes, and textures, but perhaps most notably, they come with many different functions. For example, you could get ones that vibrate, thrust, do neither or do both at the same time. 

These are used to mimic anal or vaginal penetration, but some come with “rabbit ears” for clitoral stimulation as well. The electric ones will even do most of the work for you, so you could fly solo, but of course, no one’s stopping you from bringing one to the bedroom either. 

If using your hand isn’t doing it for you, or you’d like to make it more of a team sport, there’s also plenty of options for strap-ons, which is another common way to go. It’s basically the same thing, but it puts the power in your hands — or rather, your hips. There are even double-ended dildos for when you and your partner both want to try penetration. 

One extra fun example is finger vibrators. Slide these bad boys onto your fingers and boom, you’ve got vibrator hands. Do with that what you will. These are especially great for use with other people. 

And that’s only the beginning. If you want to go deeper, there’s plenty more to try, from vibrating panties to penis rings and anal beads, not to mention vibrators that can be controlled by an app for all you long-distance lovers.

Sex toys are great for masturbation, foreplay, or the main event. While I can’t really give you tips on how to use them (it really comes down to personal preference) one thing I’ll tell you is, with all the social pressures that go into sex, sometimes we forget that it can just be a game. Don’t take yourself too seriously and you’re guaranteed to have fun with it. There’s really something for everyone.

Love,

Di