Dear Ty

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Dear Di,

I am boy crazy, but the guys I tend to like are white and I’m not. I’m so scared to go up to a guy who is a different race than I am. How can I figure out if a guy is attracted to non-white women before I approach him?

—Looking for a White Guy

Dear LWG,

I think you’d be hard pressed to find someone who can definitively say, “I am sexually aroused by the sight of any X- coloured person.” And if you did happen to meet someone like that, you’d prob- ably be a little creeped out, right? Allow me to elaborate.

When you spot a white dude who turns your crank, is it actually the colour of his skin that gets your juices flowing? Or is it his to-die-for green eyes? His suck-on-me full lips? His razor-sharp cheekbones? I hope you see my point here—the pigmentation of a person’s epidermis is not what makes him or her smoking hot. It’s the composition of their facial features, their amazing sense of humour, or the way their ass looks in a pair of well-fitting jeans. Sexy skin tone is only one part of the equation, not the bottom line.

Any hottie worth getting horizontal with will be horny for you because he’s bowled over by your beautiful breasts,your phenomenal personality, or your luscious locks—not the fact that you’re black, brown, white, purple, or polka-dotted. The moral of the story is this: If a guy is concerned about the colour of your skin, he probably isn’t someone you should waste your time with anyways.

Love, Di
Dear Di,

I watch a lot of porn that features fist ing—you know, when someone makes a fist and sticks it up a vagina or an anus—and it turns me on so much. I want to try it out with my girlfriend, but she’s convinced it’ll be painful because her pussy is “too small.” I think she’s crazy. If vaginas can stretch wide enough for a baby to slip out of, then I see no reason why I can’t fit my fist in hers!

—Fisting Fetish
Dear FF,

What a lucky lady your girlfriend is! She’s snagged herself a real charmer of a boyfriend. I hope you aren’t as oblivious to sarcasm as you clearly are to your woman’s concerns and feelings.

The phrasing of your letter makes me fear you slept through sex education classes in elementary school. Assuming this is the case, allow me to give you a crash course: Babies do not “slip out” of vaginas. Rather, a woman’s
cervix dilates during childbirth in order to accommodate the infant’s body. The woman then exerts super-human strength in order to expel the child. In layman’s terms, babies don’t shoot of out of pussies because pussies aren’t made of elastic—they can’t stretch great lengths on command.

If your girlfriend decides she’s down to give fisting a shot, start by pleasuring her orally or manually, as her vagina will expand slightly when she becomes aroused. Your fingernails should be trimmed and it’s recommended you wear surgical gloves to stop the spread of infection. Use as much lube as possible and slowly insert two or three fingers into her pussy.

Do not—I repeat, do not—make a fist before entering her; you have to go in fingers first. If your woman enjoys the sensation and wants more, try inserting your remaining digits.

It may take a few fisting sessions for your girl to become relaxed enough to take your entire hand. Listen to your lady and let her lead. If she wants you to stop, slowly pull out when she’s ready.

I must admit, I highly doubt your girl will ever come around to the idea. Fist- ing is not exactly a conventional sex act in every person’s repertoire, is it? I’m all for couples getting kinky between the sheets, but you need to experiment in ways you’re both excited about and comfortable with.

If your girlfriend refuses to partici- pate and you simply can’t survive with- out the feeling of warmth and wetness surrounding your fist, why not pull out the lube and stick your hand up your own ass?

Love, Di