Dear Ty

Dear Di,

My dick is too big. I know this seems like a crazy problem to have, but it’s actually so big that it scares women away. Some girls I’ve slept with have asked me to stop in the middle of the action because they’re in pain. How can I deal with my huge dick?


—Seriously, it’s Huge

Dear SH,

One man’s problem is another man’s fantasy, eh?

As much as we may covet them, super-sized schlongs are not all they’re cracked up to be.  Fortunately for you, there are a few simple things you can do to make sex pleasurable instead of painful for your partner.

The first step to smoothly docking your yacht in her marina would be to focus on foreplay. Lick, kiss, and finger your girl’s pussy until it’s wetter than Niagara Falls—the more turned on she is, the easier it will be to insert your man meat into her taco.

If you want to make like Babe Ruth and slide into her home plate, I suggest you purchase an industrial-sized bottle of lube. Sometimes even the horniest of gals has a hard time producing an adequate amount of natural lubricant for comfortable sex. If she’s a little on the dry side and you’re a little on the huge side, reach for the K-Y Jelly.

I also think you should encourage your partner to have sex on top—not because you want her to do all the work, but because girl-on-top positions mean she has the ability to control the depth of penetration.

I know it can be a tough world for men with colossal cocks, but keep the faith—I’m sure your package is just the right size for some girl out there.

Love, Di