Dear Ty

Illustration: Rame Abdulkader.

Dear Ty,

I’m a self-proclaimed foodie, an aficionado of all things edible, if you will. I’ve been with my partner for almost two years now, and I’m ready to blend two of my favourite things in the world: food and sex. Any tips on how to make this work?

—Food and Fucking

Dear FAF,

I applaud your openness about your desires and most concur with you: food and sex just go together like wine and cheese, PB&J, burgers and fries, grilled cheese and tomato soup, bacon and eggs … Well now I’m salivating.

But where to start? There’s literally thousands of different delicious foods out there and an equal amount of ways to have sex. Let’s begin with the foundations of bringing any new approach to sex into the bedroom.

First thing’s first: be open with your partner about this desire. Since you and your partner have been together for quite some time now, this shouldn’t be a problem, but this bears repeating: When it comes to trying new things in bed, it’s important to establish an open line of communication and set expectations and boundaries. Even if a sexual fantasy makes you drool, your partner may not feel the same way—and it’s extremely important to respect this, no matter how long you’ve been together.

Once you’ve made the case for taking food out of the kitchen and bringing it into the bedroom, and your partner agrees, start with the simple stuff.

A good place to begin, as corny and cliche as this sounds, is by using whipped cream during oral sex.

When it comes to sex in general, vaginal or anal sex is usually seen as the paramount, or climactic moment. In my opinion though, oral sex is where it’s at, especially for its important role in foreplay. If anal or vaginal sex is the big bang or the grand finale, then oral sex is every sweet second it takes to get there.

Whipped cream is a yummy and simple way to begin incorporating food into sex. Buy the cheapest can of it you can find (for broke students, this is a must) and spray a bit onto sensitive pleasure points on your partner’s body, licking it up like you’ve just spent an all-nighter in the library without a crumb of food.

If you find you really love the experience of using lickable foods, try subbing out whipped cream for hot syrups, like honey or melted chocolate. The heat can add that extra kick to your sexual endeavours.

There’s also the option of using heartier foods instead. My advice is to start with sweet and savoury fruits, like strawberries, peaches (kudos to Timothée Chalamet’s infamous scene in Call Me By Your Name), berries, tangerines, grapes or cherries. Be sure to cut them up into tiny pieces so you don’t accidentally choke yourself or your partner, and place them on pleasure points. In one swift bite, take the food, being sure to add in an extra bit of licking and sucking. You can also take it slow, eating the food (and playing with your partner), nibble by nibble.

Outside of oral sex, food can also be  incorporated into vaginal or anal sex.

Your favourite flavour popsicle is a great place to start—when used safely, the temperature difference between a popsicle and your body can be a really pleasurable experience.

But be sure to cover it with a condom (as with any food inserted into the vagina or anus). Otherwise, the high sugar content in popsicles can disrupt your body’s pH balance and could even cause yeast infections, which isn’t fun or sexy. Be wary of other foods with sharp edges that might tear skin inside the body, which can also lead to infections.

As well, be warned that whipped cream and other sugary sauces should never be put in your partner’s vagina, as that can cause some nasty infections down there.

In the end, when it comes to combining food and sex, the options truly are endless. I’m hoping this short and non-exhaustive tip sheet really helps to bring your experience in the bedroom to the next level, my little chef!

Love,

Ty