Dear Di,
Last week I was giving my boyfriend head and he completely fell asleep. I noticed he wasn’t moving or moaning, so I stopped my activities to glance up at him and sure enough, he was out cold. He seems to have no recollection of the event, which I think is probably a good thing, because I’m really embarrassed about it. What am I doing wrong here?
—When Head Becomes a Headache
Dear WHBH,
Was your man indulging in a little too much pre-game alcohol? Had he worked all day? Was it really late at night? There is a long list of potential culprits here and I highly doubt your blow job skills appear anywhere on it.
I asked some friends with penises if they’ve ever fallen asleep while receiving head, and although the majority seemed shocked and horrified at the very idea, one brave soul did admit he had. After a night of way too much drinking, he found he had a very difficult time getting his soldier to stand at attention and his eyelids to stay up.
“It had nothing to do with my boyfriend’s ability to give head,” said my pal. “I was just so drunk and exhausted that I couldn’t help myself. Not my proudest moment.”
So there you have it, straight from the horse’s mouth. Your man’s actions, while not particularly polite, were most likely somewhat out of his control.
If you still feel the need to brush up on your hummer skills, why not watch an X-rated film with your guy? During any oral sex scenes, ask your man if he likes what he sees. Or you could take matters into your own hands by grabbing that penis, looking your boy in the eye, and saying “Baby, tell me what to do with my mouth.”
Problem solved.
Love, Di
