Dear Di,
I’m stuck in a love triangle, and I’m not sure how to handle it. My friend and I both like the same person who happens to also like both of us equally. What should I do?
—Triangle Trap
Dear TT,
Love triangles are always complicated and divisive. They push you to reflect on what you value most: friendship, or a potential romantic relationship.
If you hold the former in higher esteem, it’ll be easier for you to let go of your romantic prospect. However, if you prioritize a relationship with your crush over your platonic pal, that’s when things get tough. You’ll want to reflect on that before you make a decision.
As you think about it, be sure not to fall into manipulative situations. The person you have feelings for may not realize the strain they are putting on your friendship. However, they might also be taking advantage of the situation, since they are monopolizing you and your friend’s attention. Try to keep a clear head and to understand their intentions before you make any decisions.
If you are completely at a loss for what to do, you’ll want to try and temporarily remove yourself from the situation. If you’re constantly interacting with both your friend and your love interest, there’s a good chance you haven’t had time to sit back and think. Try and take a few days, maybe even a week, “off” and see how you feel afterwards. If you take a couple steps back, you might realize that this whole thing isn’t as complicated as it might seem.
At the end of the day, the best way for you to untangle yourself from this mess is to communicate with all parties involved. It’ll be a lot easier for you to make a decision once you’ve set things straight.
Love,
Di
Dear Di,
My friend recently admitted to me that he’s cheating on his partner. What should I do? Should I tell my friend’s boyfriend that he’s being two-timed? We’re not really close, but I feel like he has a right to know.
—Chamber of Secrets
Dear CS,
This is definitely a tricky situation. It’s completely understandable for you to be confused about where to go from here.
I think the best way for you to tackle this situation isn’t to talk to your friend’s boyfriend. Instead, you should speak to your friend directly. Regardless of what he did, he still confided in you because he trusts you, and before you do or say anything that could jeopardize your friendship you might want to make him understand the gravity of his actions.
By doing so, you may make him realize that he needs to come clean to his boyfriend all by himself, which would leave you out of the messy aftermath.
Although you feel that it’s your moral responsibility to let his boyfriend know, you may want to give your friend a chance to solve this problem on his own.
Most importantly, you don’t want to be sticking your nose into someone else’s love life unnecessarily. By telling the boyfriend that he’s being cheated on without talking to your friend beforehand, you run the risk of being at the centre of their disagreement, and adding even more fuel to the fire.
In the end, do what you feel is right and appropriate to the situation. If ratting out your friend to his partner brings you peace of mind, then go ahead. Just make sure that you explore other options beforehand.
Love,
Di
