A note from Di
Dear 101-ers,
University is a time of friskiness, exploration, and hot steamy sex. Never again in your life will you be surrounded by so many hot’n’ready singles, so enjoy your time here while it lasts. I know I sure have. But, as always, remember to stay safe. The university practically showers you with condoms. Use them. If you run out you can pick out more at places like the Pride Centre and Health Services.
Also, never forget that consent is sexy. You should always ask your partner for consent and how far they are comfortable in going. Silence does NOT equal consent.
PS-Enjoy your frolicking; I’ll be looking forward to all the saucy stories ;)
xoxo,
Dear Di,
I’m super excited to start at the University of Ottawa, but I’m a little worried about still being a virgin. I don’t know how to approach matters concerning sex, especially since I feel most people will expect me to be “in the know”. So, should I be open about my sexual history—or lack thereof—with new friends and acquaintances, or will they think I’m weird?
-Virginal Prudence
Dear VP,
The decision to disclose matters about the status of your V-card is a really personal decision. You should never feel obligated to reveal details about your sexuality if you are not comfortable.
But don’t fret about being a virgin right out of the starting gate. You’d be surprised at how many virgins will be arriving on campus with you at the beginning of September. According to a 2012 study conducted by Her Campus, the number of incoming post-secondary virgins could be—on average—as high as 43 per cent.
So while you may find yourself feeling uncomfortable or intimidated by the highly sexualized atmosphere that usually characterizes the first couple weeks of school, don’t worry! Chances are you aren’t the only one.
Dear Di,
I’ll be living in rez this coming year and, as much as I’m looking forward to it, I’ve heard a lot of horror stories from my siblings about stuff like floor orgies, loud roommate sex, and overly touchy floor mates. What is acceptable college etiquette in dealing with these awkward encounters?
-Debauchery Fright
Dear DF,
Ah yes, rez life can be filled with lots of sexual mishaps and awkward situations. Some can be quite humorous, and will eventually turn into great dinner party stories. Others can just be uncomfortable and inappropriate. How you experience it will be very dependent on your boundaries, and what you’re comfortable with.
A lot of the awkwardness can be avoided by simply sitting down and having a conversation with your roommates before anything happens. For example, clearly stipulating that there should be no shower sex is a much less painful alternative than coming home to discover loud moans coming from the bathroom you just cleaned.
As for floor orgies—yes they happen —that’s more of a grey area.
For a lot of people, university is a place to experience new and exciting things, and for some, group sex is at the top of the list. Of course there’s nothing wrong with dipping your toe in that pool, but make sure it’s safe. Just like all university experiences, it’s all about consent. However, consent starts to become an issue when alcohol comes into the equation. So, if you’re interested in a communal shag, make sure everyone is on the same page with regards to what is and isn’t cool. If you are not down to “couche” with your floor mates, then all you have to do is politely decline.
As for overly touchy roommates, that’s a black and white issue. It is never okay for someone to touch you in a way that makes you uncomfortable or without your explicit consent. Once again, communication is key, so be sure to have a conservation about boundaries and if the touchiness persists, speak to your Resident Advisor.
Love,
Di
