Dear Ty

Courtesy rules couples must follow on vacation

Illustration by Tina Wallace

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If you take the plunge with your partner and book a trip together there are some commandments you should abide by while you’re away.

 

 

1. Take your “me” time 

Vacation with a lover is the perfect way to spend time together away from the problems of the real world. However, if you don’t take a little self-relaxation time, especially if you’re on a long excursion together, you’re likely to grow sick of each other fast. Vacationing or backpacking together is similar to living with each other for the extent of your trip, and if you’re not used to living with your partner, it can seem suffocating.

So take a bath by yourself, a walk on the beach, or participate in a group activity without your hubby. Trust me, it’ll be a happier experience for both of you if you take a bit of time for yourselves.

2. No sex on the beach or in the pool
Salvage your genitals and backsides and keep your intimacy to your room. It may seem sexy to bang on the beach, but sand and body crevasses equate to infections and itchiness. Also, keep your peens and pussies out of the pool. Though chlorine can kill the bacteria in a pool, it takes days and much of the bacteria remains active. When these bacteria get trapped in a urinary tract, they can cause infections that feel even more terrible than they sound. Same thing goes for hot tubs.

3. Clean up after hotel room sex
One excellent part of staying at a hotel is the cleaning service. Fresh sheets are fantastic for fucking on, but don’t take it for granted. Leaving used condoms around the room and keeping your toys out where room attendants have to move them is downright disrespectful. Wrap used condoms in toilet paper and put them in the trash can and store your washed toys in the nightstand drawer or in your suitcase.