Photo: Marta Kierkus
These days, it seems like some people are still hung up on arbitrary gender distinctions, even when it comes to drinking. Well, screw that! People shouldn’t refrain from exploring new alcoholic beverages simply because of the colour of a label. So, if you’re looking to get into a kind of sauce that isn’t traditionally marketed to you, please reference the following guides and help shake up our strictly gendered society, one drink at a time.
Man’s guide to “girly” drinks
Palm Bay
Do you like the beach? I bet you like the beach. Everybody likes the beach. Put on your flip flops and have your very own Carnivãl with this delicious sparkling vodka beverage. Warning: this drink completely tastes like pop, so chances are when you start feeling buzzed, it’s already too late.
Girls Night Out
We’ve all seen the Facebook photos: Victoria is out with the “bebs” hash tagging everything with #GNO. Do they have a monopoly on fun? No way. Every bottle of these fruit flavoured wines is a sign saying “good times ahead.” (Bonus: Skinny Girl has less calories for those attempting to ward off the dreaded freshmen 15.).
Fizzy Navel
When you combine peach schnapps and orange juice together only God—and the province of Ontario—can judge you.
Appletini
Don’t be afraid to go easy on the ‘tini with this one. It’s like a Baby Bottle Pop…but with booze.
—Zac Delamont
Woman’s guide to “manly” drinks
Sailor Jerry
Who said only boys get to act like a pirate while drinking? Pass me a bottle of this spiced rum and let’s mix a hefty rum and coke. Pretend you’re on a Caribbean island while shooting down all your opponents at some beer pong.
Pabst Blue Ribbon
A classic university beverage of choice for keggers, and Toonie Tuesdays at the U of O campus bar, 1848. Sometimes cheap light beer is the only way to go. Save a buck and chat up that cute hipster by the pool table.
Whiskey
Neat. On the rocks. With a twist. Sip it from a lowball glass. Take it any way you like, and show the world what a boss you are. Maybe even smoke a cigar while you’re at it, just to complete the whole picture.
Stouts
Don’t let those dark colours fool you. These dark beers are creamy and bursting with flavour. There’s always the ever prominent Guinness, but if you really want to taste those espresso, and chocolate flavours try the St. Ambroise Oatmeal Stout, or give some craft locals a go.
—Marta Kierkus
