Point: Don’t confuse sex and love
Growing up, whenever I did something stupid, my mom would say things like, “Where was your brain? What were you thinking? Why didn’t you use that little head of yours?” Now that I think about it, she was right to ask. When I followed what my heart wanted, I decided mud was edible, walls were big colouring books, and our neighbour’s windows were perfect targets for my slingshot training.
My mom’s words echo with me until this very day. Now that I am mature enough to make my own decisions, I have come to terms with the fact that my heart and brain will always be battling. I am always tempted to do what I want—follow my heart and neglect what my brain is trying to tell me—but I have learned not to do that. The outcome could be beyond vandalizing a wall or breaking a window—it could be breaking somebody else’s heart.
This is why I believe love and sex are two separate things that should not necessarily be joined. Love is an overused term that describes one’s strong attachment to something else—a person or an object—whereas sex is a biological function that happens to be incredibly pleasurable.
No one should deny themselves pleasure simply because they are not in a relationship where love is present. As long as there is mutual appreciation and respect between the two parties, then the sexual act should carry on, bringing with it joy and happiness yet avoiding the heartbreaks and misfortunes associated with the word called “love.”
Counterpoint: Unlock my combination, baby
I don’t usually come off as an old-fashioned type of girl. I like to dye my hair different colours, support liberal movements, and keep a generally open mind. But when it comes to sex, I like to keep my mind—and legs—closed until I have a good reason to open them.
The combination to opening my legs is, as cheesy as it sounds, affection. I don’t necessarily need to hear an “I love you” to drop my panties, but I’d like to know my partner is willing to put more than his penis into our relationship, if you know what I mean.
I see sex as an extremely intimate encounter. It’s when you’re in your most vulnerable state, and I want to make sure my partner doesn’t shit all over that—unless you’re into that sort of thing.
I find intimate, loving sex a lot better than a quick fuck. Both you and your partner aren’t just selfishly trying to climax—instead you put genuine effort into the deed, and when you both experience that sudden burst of unreal pleasure, the feeling of satisfaction is equivalent to reaching a new level in a video game.
The communication that comes with a loving relationship allows you to be more open with your sexuality, try new things, and direct your partner to your sweet spots when necessary. Call me conservative, but I prefer to have mind-blowing sex with an intimate partner, rather than quick fucks that don’t do much for me or my G-spot.