Humour

Ten ways you know you go to the U of O

Justin Dallaire | Fulcrum Contributor

1.You’ve been asked “What the hell’s a Gee-Gee?” one thousand times, but you have yet to give a straight answer. Instead, you leave those sad, clueless folks with a rhetorical question: Is it better to be quick out of the gate like a Gee-Gee, or hung like one?

2. You never venture past the downtown core. There’s a west-end of Ottawa, who knew? With the LCBO, the Beer Store, and Loblaws within a few blocks of the campus, why bother to venture further than Rideau and Elgin?

3. You always consult the campus map when building your course schedule. Who wants to walk from Desmarais to SITE? Only Gee-Gees athletes can make that trek in under 10 minutes. Cue the song  “I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles).”

4. As a student attending the largest bilingual university in the country, you revel in the fact that you can virtually hand in any assignment in the official language of your choice. You owe the school’s language policy for allowing you to pass that insanely difficult class.

5. You hate how the university has 40,000 students but probably no more than one hundred tables in its cafeteria. The only thing you find more frustrating than trying to find a table at lunchtime is waiting for the elevator at Morisset Library during exams. You know there are stairs, but who can actually find them?

6. Three words: Father and Sons (FNS). The corner of King Edward and Osgoode just wouldn’t be the same without this magical place. Over the years, you’ve discovered that bacon and eggs is indeed the best cure for any hangover. You’ve been to FNS every Saturday morning since, and thanks to the great prices, you’re not even broke yet.

7. You’ve worn a maroon U of O sweater at least three times this week. Your friends pretend to believe you when you say it’s purely to encourage school spirit, but you both know you’re lying. Hey, who doesn’t prefer comfort over fashion?

8. Your hatred for the university website grows each semester. Rabaska is a nightmare and Webmail delivers incomprehensible messages to your inbox on a daily basis. You’ve given up on trying to understand whether you should be searching for particular pieces of information on InfoWeb, uoZone, or plain old uottawa.ca.

9. You’ve been reading The Fulcrum since you picked up the Frosh Week edition in first year. You pretend that you’re interested in campus news, culture, and opinions, but it’s Di’s sex columns that make you a dedicated Fulcrumite. You regularly wonder who Di is, what she looks like, and how she knows so much.

10. You’ve learned to avoid the Tim Hortons line in the University Centre. Whoever chooses to line up there on any given morning is a brave soul. You, on the other hand, would rather walk to Rideau to pick up a Tim’s coffee. It would take the same amount of time.